Page 41 of Absolute Harmony
She laughed and opened the fridge to grab the vegetables. “Can you chop some veggies for me while I get the chicken started?”
“Sure,” he said.
They worked in comfortable silence, and she tried not to read too much into the moment. Of course they would work well together. They’d been best friends for nearly two years, and it was easy to fall back into the rhythm of their natural compatibility.
And being with him is even better now that you know how good he is at fucking.
Wasn’t that the truth. She dropped the chicken pieces into the wok, and the oil sizzled and popped. She added some spices and stirred as Hal brought the vegetables to her.
“Thank you,” she said.
“You bet. I checked the latch on the ladies’ house when I was in the backyard, so you don’t need to do your bedtime check.”
“You remembered that I do a second check,” she said. Warmth washed over her, and while it was a little foolish to be so happy that Hal knew her routine with her chickens, she couldn’t help it. She loved that he knew her so well.
He rinsed off the cutting board and loaded it into the dishwasher. “Thank you for inviting me to stay for dinner.”
She decided to go for it. “I’d like you to stay the night as well. I know you work in the morning, but I’m happy to set the alarm earlier.”
She poked at the cooking chicken, telling herself not to be upset when Hal said no.
The silence stretched out, and she glanced at him. “There’s no pressure to say yes.”
“I want to say yes,” Hal said, leaning a hip against the counter. “But I also don’t want to give you the wrong idea or….”
He trailed off before rubbing a hand against his beard. “Shit, I’m fucking this up already.”
“No, you’re not.” She stirred the veggies and the chicken so she wouldn’t have to look straight at him. He’d see the lie on her face if she did. “I know this would be a friends with benefits type thing, and I’m good with that.”
“Are you?” Hal asked.
She pulled out her rusty skills from her grade ten ‘I want to be an actor’ stage and pasted on a convincing smile before turning to face him. “Positive. I’m not ready for a new relationship at this point.”
That was one whopper of a lie, but she’d rather have a friends with benefits with Hal than nothing at all. And it was obvious to them both that they couldn’t return to being just friends. At least not until they’d fucked away whatever this was between them.
You really think that’s possible?
Maybe, maybe not. But it didn’t matter, did it? Hal didn’t want more, and she wouldn’t push him for it. She’d take what he was offering until it was no longer enough for her, and then she’d gather up her dignity and the pieces of her shattered heart and accept that Hal couldn’t give her what she needed.
* * *
“You look different.”Wanda eyed Savina across the small table they’d snagged at Grind My Beans.
Savina sipped at her coffee. Grind My Beans was swamped with people, not surprising for a Saturday afternoon, and she leaned forward so she didn’t have to yell. “What do you mean?”
“You look happier,” Wanda said.
Savina shrugged. “I feel the same.”
She took another sip of coffee, hoping Wanda wouldn’t see through her lie. Shewashappier. Much happier, in fact, and it had everything to do with Hal. It’d only been a week since they decided to be friends with benefits, but Hal had spent every night at her place. Last Monday, on Hal’s day off, they’d taken advantage of the nice weather to take a bike ride down to Riverton. They ate lunch at a cute little restaurant overlooking the bay and did some antique shopping at a few different shops. While they hadn’t held hands or done anything that suggested they were dating, Savina had been a little embarrassed by how giddily happy it made her to be with him.
Wanda still studied her, and Savina hurried to change the subject. “How was the meeting this week?”
“Good, cathartic for more than one of us. I thought you were planning on being there?” Wanda said.
“Oh, I ended up with other plans,” Savina said.
“Is that right?”