Page 81 of And Then There's You

Maci:Oh yeah?

Mack:I talked to the guys about quitting…

Maci:Your band? What?! Already?

Mack:Yeah. It’s been great adventuring to all these new places and having new experiences with my music, but I’m ready to settle down and figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life.

Maci:Wow, that's a big deal, Mack. What did they say?

Mack:They weren’t exactly happy, but they understand. They asked if we could finish the next set of shows before we talked about it again, but they know I’m done either way. Our last show will be at home. Oregon, I mean. Do you have any idea when you’re going to be back? Did you decide where you’re going next?

Maci:Not yet. I’m going to stay in Costa Rica for a few more weeks before I go somewhere new.

There’s a pause on the other end of the line.

Mack:Because of Dean?

My pause matches his while I think through what I want to say.

Maci:I don’t know. It’s not because of Dean. When I said I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship with you, I meant I wasn’t ready for a relationship with anyone. It’s this place. I feel…free. I don’t know how else to describe it. The past two days I spent out on the ocean were so beautiful and peaceful, and I had no worries. It’s nice being somewhere new, with no real routine or responsibilities. It’s not that I’m dreading coming home to real life, it’s just nice to be away from it for a while if that makes sense.

He takes a deep breath on the other end of the line as if he’s trying to give himself time to find the right words.

Mack:It does. That’s how I felt when I was touring. It was exciting to be somewhere new, doing something I love. Yeah, it’s my job too, but it felt way less part of the daily grind than anything else.

Maci:Are you sure you aren’t going to miss it too much?

Mack:I’m sure. He pauses. Maci?

Maci:Yeah?

Mack:I’m worried. I don’t know how to fight for you when I’m not there and he is.

The vulnerability in his voice shoots straight to my gut, and I wish I could hug him.

Maci:You know how I feel about you, Mack. I thinkI just need some time to have my own moments of freedom like you did, before I’m ready to settle down too. We’re young.

Mack:I can understand that. Even if I was always going to end up back in Oregon, I had to go experience California for myself. I just miss you.

Maci:I miss you too.

Mack:You know I was thinking, if I had a more regular job, we’d be able to set aside time to travel. We could go to a new country every year.

Maci:I would love that.

I say it because it’s true. It sounds like the perfect balance between the responsible routine of an adult and adventure with someone who would make both those things enjoyable.

Mack:I love you.

The front door swings open, Dean walking through.

I pull my attention back to my phone.

Maci:You too. I’ll talk to you later, okay?

I hang up and put my phone face down on the nightstand. I’m not trying to hide from Dean that I was talking to Mack. He knows the internal conflicts I have, but I do want to give him my full attention.

“Hiiii.” I sit on the edge of the bed, and he walks toward me, settling between my legs and leaning down for a kiss.