Page 17 of Empire of Lust
BIANCA
Dammit!I told myself I wouldn’t do this again. That I was done feeling sorry for myself, but here I am, sitting at Callum’s desk with fresh tears racing down my cheeks. I should’ve fought the emotions until I reached Tatum’s wing of the house. When she told me her father had the keys, I figured I’d slip in, grab them, and go back to the bedroom. That didn’t happen. As soon as my fingers closed around the keys, the voices of all my failures came rushing back.
Everything I kept at bay during the wild rush of packing and making arrangements with the landlord came pouring out, and of course, once the tears start, there is no stopping them.
The reality of it is almost suffocating. All that’s left now are feelings.Despair. Anguish. Heartbreak.The hole in my chest cracks further the more I think about it. Yes, things with Lucas were going downhill, and we were probably going to break up eventually, but those thoughts don’t lessen the pain. He was my first relationship, my first love.
My despair turns to anger in a flash. I don’t want to feel. I don’t want to think, but that’s all that’s left to do. Another uncontrollable sob rips from my chest. My life is imploding around me, the pieces scattering in the aftermath. I can’t move fast enough to pick them up.
The stupid organ in my chest beats louder and louder. Every choice I made up to this day puts me where I am now. Homeless, squatting at my best friend’s house. I’m a fucking charity case. At this point, I could die from shame.
I swallow another sob in my throat. In this room, I’m more vulnerable and weaker. I need to leave his office now. The thought of Callum finding me crying.God.I’d have to explain myself, and then…
“Excuse me.” That deep, gravelly voice I only hear in my dreams fills my ears.
Oh, shit. So much for escaping without him seeing me.
I forget sobs in favor of embarrassment. This nightmare is never-ending. I slap the tears on my cheeks away, then drop my hands to my lap like that’s going to make it appear like I wasn’t crying. I’m sure my cheeks are blotchy too.
Callum’s large, powerful frame fills the doorway. He stares back at me, his face a mask of fury, and for a moment, I forget to breathe. Is he angry at me? I’m acutely aware of my mistake, and the need to apologize overwhelms me.
“I’m sorry!” I croak, swiping at my cheeks once more. My hands shake with anxiety. All I was supposed to do was get the keys from him, not use his office like that of a therapist. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean to. Tatum told me you had the keys, and I came and grabbed them, but then the tears and…”
Jesus, this is a mess. I am a mess. A complete dumpster fire.
“Whoa. Wait, hold on. I left them there, but please don’t apologize. It’s okay.” He inches inside and sets the cup in his hand on a small table near the door before crossing the room.
His gaze is fixed on me. A lion stalking a gazelle.
He says it’s okay, but the feral look in his eyes makes me think twice. As he gets closer, the warmth in my belly intensifies. The crush I’ve had on him since I was a teen blooms with a new life. He hasn’t even touched me, but I know I’m weak for him.
His perfectly sculpted body fills out his tailored suit in a way that makes my mouth water. He’s so tall.Have I never realized how much bigger he is than me before this point?I can’t look away, and I definitely shouldn’t be fantasizing about what he looks like naked beneath all that fabric. I drink him in, my eyes painting a photographic picture in my mind to save for later.
Sharp, strong jaw. High cheekbones. Firm, full lips. A few age lines crease his forehead as his brow furrows, but he doesn’t look a day over thirty-five. His dark hair is thick and styled in a sexy, no fucks given way.
I let my gaze drift down to his crotch, recalling the vivid memory of his thick, veiny cock.Jesus.I’m grateful for my flushed skin and tear-stained cheeks. It hides the furious blushing I’m doing for a completely different reason.
He comes to stand beside me. Maybe I should feel uncomfortable. That would be a normal reaction, but nothing about this is normal. I feel safe beside him.Guarded.I crane my neck back to look up at him; his masculine features are masked, but his green eyes are bright and bold.
I could stare at him for days. In my mind, he’s always been aGerald Butlerlookalike. I suck a choked breath into my lungs, and cinnamon and coffee cling to my nostrils. The spicy scent makes me want to lean into him, but I stop myself. He’s so close now that I can feel the heat of his skin radiating against mine.
I’m so caught up in his presence and my body’s reaction to him, I don’t realize he’s reaching for me until his hands close around my hips. I can feel his searing touch through the fabric of my clothes. He lifts me from the swivel chair with all the effort it takes to lift a feather and sets me down on the edge of the mahogany desk. My head spins when he drops into the leather chair in front of me, his knees nearly touching mine.
Putting aside the fact that his touch is short-circuiting my brain right now, my mind races in a vain attempt at figuring out what the hell is going on. We’ve never been this close, not in all the times I’ve visited the house. He’s never touched me beyond a pat on the back in passing or a hug, and that’s rare enough.
“Tell me what happened?” He sounds like a concerned father. This is good. How he should be acting. With all the drama and my emotions swirling, I almost forget to worry if he’s going to ask me about that night. God, I hope not. I can only pray it was all a figment of my imagination. That he didn’t really see me because if he did…
Shit, he asked me something.
“Tatum didn’t tell you?”
He releases a sigh. “She did, but I was hoping you would offer more details. Tatum was in a bit of a hurry when she stopped by to let me know you’d be staying.”
There’s a tinge of annoyance in his voice. My mental state is fragile enough at the moment. I don’t need to bother anyone else.
“I’m… I’m sorry. I don’t want to put anyone out. I can go stay with my father if you would rather have me do that.”
“Stop,” he growls like a dog protecting a bone. “I asked you to give me more details. I did not ask you to leave.”