Page 72 of Empire of Lust

“Considering, I’m fine. I got off pretty easy when you think about how much worse it could’ve been.”

“Please, don’t remind me. I just about died when Dad told me.”

Even while I’m half doped up after my last pill that put me to sleep, there’s no escaping the guilt that lances through me. “He’s taking great care of me,” I murmur, wincing. Here I am, in his bed, and I have to pretend our relationship is totally innocent.

“Well, this settles it.”

“Settles what?”

“I’m coming home right away. Obviously, somebody needs to keep an eye on you, and Dad is too busy working all the time.”

If somebody told me a few months ago that I would ever dread the idea of my best friend coming home after weeks apart, I’d tell them they were crazy. This is Tatum. I miss her. Having her gone all this time has been like missing a part of myself. Of course, I want her to come home.

But.

“Um…”

Her familiar laughter only adds to the discomfort. “What? You don’t want to see me? Did you find another best friend? Because I’ll cut that bitch.”

“Put the knife away,” I murmur, chewing my lip until it hurts. What’s better, telling her now or waiting until she gets home? It’s not like I’ll be able to hide it from her. I could never hide anything from her; she’s too observant and knows me too well.

“You know, if this goes on much longer, I’m going to feel insulted,” she warns in a deceptively light tone of voice that I know conceals irritation. I know her too well, too.

“I have something to tell you.” Oh, god, I’m actually doing this. But it has to be done. She has to know. I don’t want to drop the bomb on her after she’s arrived, and that’s probably because I’m a coward. I don’t think I could stand the look on her face when she finds out about us.

I’m sorry I couldn’t be a better friend.

She sighs loudly while I struggle to find the right words. “Does it have anything to do with you sleeping with my dad?”

I barely tighten my grip on the phone in time to keep from dropping it. I’m imagining this, right? This is some kind of side effect from the painkillers.

“Sorry, did I kill you? Are you still with me?”

I don’t know what to say. She doesn’t sound outraged. More like she thinks this is funny. I hope that’s a good sign. “You already knew?”

“Yeah,” she continues with an exasperated sigh. “Listen, it’s not my favorite thing in the world, but it is what it is. And yes, Dad knows I know.”

There I go again, almost dropping the damn phone. “How long has he known?”

“Only a few days.” I guess it slipped his mind. Not like I haven’t given him other things to worry about since the accident, but still. He could have at least thought to mention it. One less thing for me to feel terrible about.

“I’m sorry. I really am. You’re not mad at me, are you?”

“I’ve known for years you had a crush on him.” She laughs at my gasp. “Please. He’d walk into the room, and your face would go bright red, and you’d start looking anywhere but at him. That’s a crush. And I mean, I guess I can’t blame you, even if it’s a little weird. But I’m not mad. I want you to be happy.”

She pauses, and it’s a heavy sort of pause. “Are you happy?”

Am I? She deserves an honest answer, not something I fire off without thinking. It isn’t easy admitting to myself how rocky things have been, but I believe things are going to get better. Because at the heart of all of this is one fact I can’t get around or talk myself out of—he’s what I want. I can’t get him out of my soul and don’t want to. So there just has to be a way for everything to work out and for us to be happy without all these roadblocks and problems.

“I think I will be,” I decide. “I mean, honestly, worrying about how you would take it was a lot of the reason I was nervous and questioning myself. Now that I have you out of the way, yeah, I think there’s a lot more room to be happy.”

“Now that you have me out of the way,” she mutters. “Boy, you have a way with words.”

“You know what I mean. I couldn’t let myself be happy because I was so worried about what it might do to us.”

“I get it, and you have nothing to worry about from me. Just don’t ask me to take sides if you guys get into a fight. I don’t have it in me to get into that drama.”

“Understood.”