Page 57 of Blood Money
“Jesus Christ. You do it to punish yourself, don’t you? There was nothing you could’ve done. You know what would’ve happened if you’d left. Mrs. Romano was right. You made the best of a really shitty situation,” he argued, but it didn’t matter.
“The best? That was thebest?” I cried, finally losing my cool.
“In a twisted way, yes. Vittorio, you saved her life,” he asserted.
“I don’t think she sees it that way,” I countered with a humorless smile.
“You still love her, don’t you?”
I tried to swallow the lump lodged in my throat.
“I was afraid of this. Vittorio… if you still love her, you have to talk to her. Lay it on the line. Tell her everything. If she still can’t forgive you, then you’ll know you tried everything you could, and then you can try to move on.” The pain in his gaze nearly broke me, and I looked away.
Move on? How the fuck am I supposed to move on when I haven’t been able to for the last ten years?
“It doesn’t matter. I’m not the same guy I was when I was eighteen.”
“In here”—he banged his fist on his chest—“you are.”
I couldn’t help but feel like he was so very wrong.
“I can’t pull her into this life.”
“She’s already in it, brother. If she’s with you, then once we get to the bottom of this bullshit, she’s safer than running that bakery without our protection.”
“And until then?”
“Until then, we still keep her safe.”
I was one step ahead of him. Santino was on her right now, and Georgie would be following her on her “date.”
It was killing me knowing she would be with another man for even a few hours to have dinner. I should’ve told her she wasn’t going. Today’s me shouldn’t have hesitated to do just that. But every time I was around her, I craved her. It made me think and do stupid shit.
Even after ten years, my feelings hadn’t gone away. They hadn’t dissipated in the least. And I knew they never would.
I loved her.
For ten fucking years, I’d been half a man because the other half didn’t exist without her.
Resignation mixed with a crazy ripple of hope hit me.
“You’re right. I’m going to talk to her. But I need to give you a heads-up: if the guy she’s having dinner with tonight touches her, I’m going to need the Ankeny boys.”
Gabriel sighed. “I get it.”
I nodded and went back to my apartment. I needed another drink.
Lost in my thoughts, I poured the amber liquid into a glass, then crossed the room to my home office.
Alone, I sat at my desk and opened the bottom drawer. My throat hurt as I swallowed the lump stuck there. As I took a sip of the smooth liquor, I stared at the old phone. Then I pulled it out, plugged it in, and turned it on. To torture myself, I opened the message screen.
Text messages from Kendall ten years ago….
Kendall: Why weren’t you there?
Kendall: Why aren’t you answering me?
Kendall: Was it all a lie?