Page 31 of Like You Know

Twenty minutes later, we were settled in the courtyard of our favorite smoothie place in Devilbend, four large cups with straws sitting on the table between me and my very attentive friends.

They all had expectant looks on their faces. It was a little unnerving being stared at, and I found myself leaning back in my chair.

Harlow grabbed her drink and slurped the chocolate-peanut-butter smoothie while narrowing her eyes at me.

“Bitch. Start talking.” Donna was done handling me with kid gloves and was back to her straightforward, demanding self.

Weirdly, it made me feel better. It was comforting in that way familiar things were.

“My mom’s latest man-thing is moving into my house, and the strange thing is they both seem actually serious about it and are acting vaguely like adults, and it’s bringing up all kinds of feelings.” I gagged. “Like, about my dad, and about my mom too, and for some infuriating reason, I find it really easy to talk about all this shit to Jethro fucking Collins, and I think I really fucking like him, which is super inconvenient because he clearly does not like me back, because we had a moment on spring break and we nearly kissed, but he practically recoiled from me and ran away, and then the other day when I was upset about the douchebag invading my home, he went out of his way to cheer me up—like, boyfriend level of effort—and that’s two times now that I felt things for him but it didn’t go anywhere, and I’m fucking humiliated and pissed off, because I still fucking like him.”

I sucked in a deep breath, then released it with a huff before reaching for my green goddess smoothie. I took big gulps while looking between my friends, waiting for their reactions to the pile of emotional shit I’d just dumped on them.

All three wore matching wide-eyed looks.

Harlow was the first to speak, giving me a smug little smile. “I knew you had a thing for him.”

I flipped her off.

“You guys nearly kissed?” Mena looked as though she wanted to smile at the romance of it all, but the rest of the heavy crap was weighing it down.

“Your mom is in a stable relationship?” Donna sounded as if she wanted proof that would stand up in a court of law. I didn’t blame her. I wouldn’t have believed it either if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes.

“Yep.” I didn’t know which of them I was responding to. “So, yeah. The past few weeks have been ...”

“Overwhelming?” Mena suggested.

“A clusterfuck?” Harlow added.

“Bullshit.” Donna frowned.

“All of the above.” I nodded.

“Why didn’t you tell us any of this?” Mena asked.

I shrugged and fidgeted with my straw. “The thing with Jet happened on our vacation, and I didn’t want to bring the mood down. And also I was embarrassed. Then after, I was determined to just ignore him until he went away since nothing is ever going to happen between us. And the shit with my mom ... I honestly didn’t even know where to start. I still don’t really know how I feel about it all.”

For the next hour, we sat around that little table in the quirky courtyard of a juice place, and I poured it all out for my friends. They listened and asked questions and offered unwavering support as I worked through my feelings.

I had the best friends. They didn’t judge me or rush me, but they called me out on my crap too. It was exactly what I needed, and I felt so much better after letting it all out.

Yes, the situation at home was still upsetting and overwhelming. And yes, I was still confused and embarrassed about the crap with Jet. But at least I didn’t have to deal with it all on my own.

The girls made me realize I needed to talk to my mom. Properly talk to her, without getting into a fight, and tell her how I felt about everything. I also probably needed to talk to a therapist, maybe with my mom there too. I wasn’t quite ready for either of those things, but I promised my girls I’d keep thinking about it, and I’d at least try to talk to my mom soon in a mature way.

When it came to Jet, the unanimous decision was that he was dead to us.

“Want me to look into him?” Harlow asked, glancing around the busy courtyard. She meant by using less-than-legal hacking ways. “I might find something we can use.”

I wasn’t sure I wanted to hurt or embarrass Jet. I just wanted him to stop doing the same to me.

“Nah.” I shook my head. “I don’t want to waste any more energy on him.”

“Good.” Mena nodded and crossed her arms. “As a very good friend of mine once wisely told me—he should be ride-or-die. He didn’t ride, so he should die. Literally.”

“I believe I said figuratively.” I chuckled. “And this is a completely different situation.”

“Yeah, well, I meanliterally.”