Page 45 of Dove

His fingers stroked my neck before tightening his hold. My hands went to his wrist. I just rested them there, feeling him. I knew it would be useless to try and push him away. My pussy clenched and flooded until it pooled on the table.

His other hand slapped between my legs. My eyes flew open in shock as I looked at him. I wanted to be mad, except the second the pain registered, another feeling passed through me. An intense pleasure roared in my body. He slapped me again, and I would’ve moaned if his hold on my neck had allowed it.

“You like that, don’t you?” He traced his fingertips around my entrance, gathering the evidence of my arousal. His mouth moved against my lips. It was a light brush, and I wanted to press further. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t give in to the softness in his eyes. His hold loosened, and he stroked my neck.

“No.” I whispered, and tears rolled down my cheeks.

“These tears are mine.” He licked them away. “It’s okay to admit you like it. You’re not like everyone else, so stop pretending. You like the pain. You like the fear. Your tight pussy flooded in excitement as I ran that knife over your skin.”

I shook my head back and forth. I didn’t want him to be right. If he was right, what did that make me? A freak? A monster? Depraved like him? Maybe I really was his little slut.

“No, I didn’t. I’m normal.” I whimpered.

He slapped my pussy again, and this time I did moan as the pleasure set off sparks inside me. I could feel my body tightening, begging for a release. Was I going to come from the pain alone?

“You’re not fucking normal.” He slapped me again, and my legs shook with the force used to stop myself from coming. He squeezed my neck again until I looked at him. “Stop denying your true self. It’ll only find a way out, or it’ll destroy you. You’ll turn into a shell of a person. You’ll want to die again. Stop letting the world cage you. Stop living for their approval. For their version of normal. Embrace who you are. Live for yourself. Make yourself happy.”

Holy fuck!

He was right. Why was I letting a world full of people I didn’t care about, who didn’t care about me, stop me from having someone who did? Stop me from feeling…alive. Happy. Protected. Worshiped.

How had this demon cut right to the core of who I was? Right to my insecurities. To my need to please even if it hurt me. To the deep dark places, I couldn’t voice out loud. Not only had he seen them, but he was caring for them. Telling me they were okay. I was okay.

But would he take the acceptance away if I wronged him? Take my life away.

“I’m scared.” I whispered.

His hold on my neck softened, but he didn’t remove it completely. His blue eyes roamed my face searching for answers. “What are you scared of, my little dove?”

“I’m scared that I’m not meant for this life. I’m scared you’ll die. I’m scared you’ll kill me one day. That you won’t want me anymore and dispose of me.”

That was the truth I didn’t want to admit. That I really was his. I’d been his since the first time he touched me. And I feared he’d be taken from me. I feared I wasn’t enough. That he’d get bored of me. That he’d toss me aside like I was nothing. That once I fully committed to him, that once the chase was over, he’d leave. Or he’d end me. Or this life would end us.

“I thought you wanted to die.” His voice was the softest I’d ever heard it. It wasn’t soft compared to other people because he didn’t have that in him. Still, I bathed in his show of sweetness.

It was true I’d once considered ending my own life. There was a time it consumed my thoughts. That was before him. Before he’d exposed all my hidden parts. Before he’d made me love them. Love myself. Before he’d taken away all my problems.

“Not since you.” I couldn’t hide the truth from him anymore.

My hands left the table, and I threaded my fingers through his dark hair, forcing his mouth to mine. My tongue clashed with his. Fighting. Consuming. He was eating me alive, sucking the air from my lungs. His teeth bit my lip, and a metallic taste filled my mouth. I didn’t know if it was his blood or mine; I didn’t care. I didn’t stop.

My mouth warred with his, trying to express the feelings I couldn’t voice. He stroked my neck, and I dug my fingers into his scalp, begging for more. Our lips moved together as he swallowed my needy moans. Until he ripped his mouth from mine to stare into my eyes as he spoke. As if he wanted me to truly understand his words.

“I’ll never hurt you outside of the pain you crave. I’ll never let you go. Dead or alive.” His fingers flexed on my neck. “I’ll follow you wherever we go when we leave this earth. I’ll drag you down to hell with me. You’re mine. Forever.”

It was the closest Maddox could get to a declaration of love. It was obsessed. Depraved. It was raw and wrong.

And perfect.

It called to my baser instincts. It spoke to my very soul. The place where I wasn’t held back by other people’s beliefs. The place where I would find my true happiness.

With him.

The world was full of monsters. I’d almost been raped by my boss. Mentally tortured by my ex, a man people had been respected. Who was to say that Maddox was worse than them? That I shouldn’t love him. At least he was honest about who he was.

“Say it.” He squeezed my neck tighter. His blue eyes burned.

I gasped for air even as my clit thumped with pleasure. He loosed his hold slightly. I looked up at him through my lashes. I let the last of my resistance go. I allowed myself to finally feel for him. Let him love me in only the way he could.