Page 58 of Madness

“You.”

31

Kincaid

You.

That one word, spoken in Maddox’s deep voice, had been rolling around in my head all day. I’d paced my apartment for so long I was afraid I’d make a hole straight through the floor and send myself tumbling into the rooms below.

Me. Maddox wanted me. What did that mean?

He’d had me. We slept together. He’d broken me. Shattered me to pieces so small, I wasn’t sure they’d ever be put back together again. He’d made me admit I wanted him too. Despite the fact that I shouldn’t. Despite who and what he was. Despite how I’d come to be in his presence.

What more could he want from me? I was no one. An out-of-work waitress. Or a prostitute if I considered what I’d been paid to do with Maddox. I wasn’t made for his life. Not just the violence of it. But the money.

I was born with nothing, and I knew I would die with nothing. Stories of people pulling themselves up from situations like mine were the exceptions, not the rule. And those people had skills and help. I didn’t have either of those things. I was utterly ordinary. And utterly alone. I had no one in this world.

A deep ache radiated in my bones. But for the first time in a while, I didn’t let it settle. I didn’t think about the oblivion of death. My hand went to my neck. Brushing gently along the bruises I knew were there. I’d faced death. Looked it in the eyes. It hadn’t brought the peace I’d thought it would. Instead, it had been a thrill. I felt more alive in that moment than I ever had before.

Was I crazy to want to feel it again? For wanting to go back to Maddox?

He’d changed the rules again. I didn’t know what was happening between us. Would he still pay me? How long would he want me? Would he get bored? What would happen then?

I couldn’t wrap my mind around how different he’d been this morning. After his startling announcement, he’d feed me breakfast in bed as I sat in his lap. He watched intently as I swallowed the eggs and fruit he’d brought up. He had an obsession with watching me eat. I didn’t understand that either.

Then he’d taken me into his giant shower; it was big enough for ten people. He’d washed the remnants of our night from my body. My blood and his cum. He’d tenderly washed my hair before fucking me roughly with my face pressed into the tiles. I’d fallen apart as he’d slapped my ass raw.

Afterward, he’d cleaned me again. Then disinfected the cut on my leg before bandaging it up. He’d even dressed me. It was like I was a doll who couldn’t take care of myself. Which is exactly how I’d felt. I don’t think I could’ve gotten ready without him. My mind felt like it was in a fog.

Instead of sending me home with one of his guards, he’d driven me himself in an expensive sports car I’d never seen. The whole way, he’d held my hand against his muscular thigh. I didn’t speak.

In fact, I don’t remember speaking at all after he’d said those words. He’d kissed me possessively at my door and whispered that he’d see me tomorrow.

Tomorrow. I was supposed to wait until tomorrow to get answers. To figure out what he’d meant when he said he wanted me.

Maybe I should figure out what I wanted. Did I want to be his? Did I want him?

My body craved the pain and ecstasy he brought, but could I overlook who he was? He was a murderer. A Mafia boss. I’d told myself that a hundred times already, and it hadn’t stopped me from going back to the private room in Entice. Or accepting his offer of selling my body to him. And I didn’t think it was going to stop me now.

Not after we’d finally been together. I knew it would be different than anything else I’d ever had. Knew it would be explosive. But it was so far beyond that I didn’t even know how to explain it. Didn’t have the words to put together all my feelings.

I’d thought all my books had been lying when they described that moment. The moment where sex was more than just the physical. Where it was a pivotal moment of your life. A turning point in your existence. But that’s exactly how it felt. I’d never experienced it before, so I didn’t think it existed. But it did. I’d had that with Maddox.

With a demon.

And he’d had it with me. Or at least I think that was why things had changed. He’d changed. I didn’t know. The only thing I knew for sure was that whatever this was between us wasn’t over. I think it might have just started.

32

Kincaid

Adampness hung in the air as I stood on the curb in front of my apartment, as I’d done many times since my agreement with Maddox. I rubbed my arms, trying to push away the chill that wanted to cling to my skin.

Tonight felt like the first night. A mix of fear and anticipation. I didn’t know what to expect. Didn’t know how his words, his claim over me, would change whatever this was.

The sound of water splashing under tires drew my attention to the car that stopped in front of me. I paused for a moment, waiting to see if Maddox would open the back door and greet me, but nothing happened. The door remained closed. Disappointment settled in my gut. Why did I think anything would be different?

Except it was. Usually, whoever was driving would come to open my door, but tonight no one did. Tentatively I walked forward. My hand closed around the cold, wet handle as I opened the door. My body tensed as if for an attack. Nothing happened. I released a breath I didn’t know I was holding and slid into the seat.