Page 64 of Madness

I thought about the bills still piled up from my mother’s funeral. I thought about all the nights I’d gone to sleep with my stomach eating itself. All the times, I’d wanted to die because I couldn’t face the struggle of one more day.

All of it could’ve been solved by my father. The man who’d convinced my mother he was single. That he was a good guy. Until two lines had appeared on the test, and he’d never seen her again.

“You’d do that for me?”

“My little dove, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” His hands stroked my cheeks as he spoke. “There’s no one I wouldn’t destroy to protect you. To stop you from feeling an ounce of pain. I promise you’ll never have to feel alone again.”

The tears I’d been holding back slid down my cheeks. I buried my head in Maddox’s chest to hide them. I didn’t know if I could trust him. But I wanted to. I didn’t want to be alone anymore. I didn’t want to face this uncaring world by myself. For once in my life, I wanted to believe something good could happen for me.

I didn’t believe in God or angels. I knew they couldn’t protect me from the traumas of the world. I wondered if I could believe in a demon.

35

Kincaid

“Igot something for you.” Maddox placed a box into my lap before he picked up his drink. We were having dinner out on the bedroom balcony again. It had become a new routine for us.

“Why?” I asked as I stared down at the box in my hand.

“It’s been a month. Aren’t gifts a normal thing people do for anniversaries?” He asked without glancing in my direction. I had a feeling he was purposefully hiding his eyes.

“You bought me a gift for our anniversary?” I whispered in surprise.

I shouldn’t be suspicious of our new relationship, but I still was. It had started unconventionally, and I kept waiting for him to change the rules again. To say he didn’t really want me. But over the last month, he’d been everything a girl could want in a boyfriend and more.

We still had our dinners together. I stayed the night more often than not, and the nights I didn’t, Maddox took me home. He still wanted me to move in, but I refused. I needed to keep my own space. My sanity.

He hated my apartment, but that didn’t stop him from threatening the building manager until all the repairs I needed were done. There were no more leaking sinks or discolored ceiling tiles. And he had someone come over once a week to fill my fridge with food.

True to his word, he also paid my rent and gave me a credit card. I hadn’t used it. Maddox had taken care of my most basic needs, and I didn’t want for much else. Plus, I was uncomfortable taking his money. Tessa thought I was crazy and that it wasn’t any different than when he’d paid me. Which was kind of the problem.

I pulled the top off the box to see a brand new kindle inside. My lips parted as I picked it up and turned it on. I’d never owned one before. It was a luxury, and my life didn’t allow for luxuries.

“Do you like it?” I could hear the hint of apprehension in his voice as he reached out and lifted up the edge of my dress so he could rub my bare thigh.

That was another new thing. He was always touching me, not just sexually. There were casual touches while we were in the car or eating dinner. He never let me sleep unless I was pulled tight to his body. Most of the time, he didn’t even let me out of his sight unless he had to work.

“I do.” I smiled at him, but his lips pulled down in a frown.

“Then why do you look disappointed?”

“I’m not. It’s just—. I like physical books.” I said, feeling like a brat for not liking this expensive gift he bought me. I knew he was trying hard to make me happy. I hated for him to think I wasn’t. “My mom used to write inscriptions on the inside. They remind me of her. The smell. The feel.”

“Hmm.” He looked like he was filing away that information. I was focused on flipping through the books he’d preloaded onto the kindle. I was noticing a theme.

“Wait? Does every one of these books have impact play in them?” He smirked as he sipped from his glass.

I placed the kindle on the table before standing. I walked over to his chair and straddled his lap.

“I love it.” I said before kissing him. I kept the kiss short, knowing where it would lead.

“Can I ask you something?” He nodded as he stared at my lips. His fingers played with the strap of my dress absentmindedly. “Why don’t you take me out?”

“What do you mean?” Maddox said as he pulled the strap off my shoulder and kissed me there.

“Like on a date?” I blushed. Was I really asking my Mafia boyfriend why he didn’t take me out on dates? What was my life?

“There are a few reasons, my little dove.” He said before kissing the other shoulder. “Security is always an issue. Even more, now that I have something to protect.” My heart fluttered at his concern for me. “Plus, I like having you all to myself.”