Page 71 of Filthy Hot Escort
She frantically shook her head. “You didn’t scare me.”
“Skylar,” he said, his voice chiding.
“I’m not lying, Julian! I wasn’t scared. Not of you!”
By the expression on his face, he clearly didn’t believe her, so she hurried to him and took his hands. “Julian. Listen to me. You didn’t scare me. Being dominated by you, having sex with you, it doesn’t scare me. I scare myself.”
Julian squeezed her hands, anguish in his expression. “You said that before. That you feared yourself. But I don’t know what that means. And I’m sorry, Skylar, I can’t give you what you’re asking for. I can’t ‘make’ you do anything, even come, until I understand your fear.”
“It’s just . . . I mean . . . if I could put it in words, I would! Don’t you think I would? I don’t know how.”
She was shaking now, so hard she thought she’d lose more and more of herself until there was nothing left.
Suddenly, Julian took her into his arms, and with that small act, he was gathering all those loose pieces of her and holding her together. She clung to him.
“It’s okay, sweetness. I hear you. And I understand. The good thing is, more than even an expert with sex, I’m an expert with words, so maybe I can help get you to a place where you know what words to use.”
She sighed. “So we’re going to go from sex clubs to English lessons?”
He shrugged. “I’m game if you are.”
He hugged her tighter, and she burrowed deeper into his chest.
He held her like that until the wind picked up and the chill in the air transitioned from crisp to downright I’m-shivering-so-hard-my-teeth-are-clattering uncomfortable.
She pulled away and stepped back. “I guess it’s the show-Julian-how-crazy-I-am period of my life right now.”
“Don’t talk about yourself that way,” he said seriously.
“Well, you have to admit, between screaming at Regina yesterday and what just happened, I’ve been difficult to handle.”
“I admit nothing. Nothing other than I think we should get you out of this cold weather and someplace warm. Let me get you home.”
At the idea of going back to her empty apartment, her shoulders slumped. “I don’t want to go home.”
“Where do you want to go?”
“We could always check out that sex club?”
35
“Skylar . . . ” Julian chided after she brought up going to a sex club.
“What? Now you’re going to get all weird with me about sex? Because I don’t want that, Julian. I want you to do what you said, prove to me that a woman can be submissive and still be in control.”
“Sweetness, I think you’ve had enough for today.”
“If I’m truly the one in control, then only I get to say when I’ve had enough.”
She glared at him, and he stared back, obviously conflicted. Finally, he sighed. “Okay, fine. But we’re going to pass on sex clubs for now.” He held out a hand when she opened her mouth to protest. “Have you ever gone to a strip club?” he asked.
Skylar blinked. “No, why would I? And what does that have to do with what we’re talking about?”
“To answer your first question, strip clubs can be hot— for the audience and the strippers. I saw you checking out those couples and groups at the Masquerade Party, so voyeurism is probably something you should explore. To answer your second question, if you’d been to a strip club, you’d probably already know the control the strippers exercise over the audience.”
Skylar snorted. “This is how you’re making your point about women in a submissive position being in control? So what? Stripping is a form of female empowerment? Sure, Julian, every woman dreams of taking off her clothes and shaking her tits at drunk men for a living. I bet you’re going to say the same thing about the lap dances and whatever else happens?”
“Stripping and whether it’s degradation or empowerment is a complicated topic that I’m not even going to try to get into with you. So is whether a woman would aspire to be a stripper. But do you remember the caveat I gave when I told you thatwhen it’s done right, a woman who submits to a man is the one in control?”