Page 78 of Ascending

“No, I don’t think there is,” Palmer agreed. “I should get changed.”

“I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

Secretly, Elizabeth hoped it would take Palmer hours, days, weeks, or even months to get ready. She didn’t want Palmer to leave. There was still so much for Elizabeth to learn about the woman. There was still so much for them to do together. Realizing the one person she’d come to count on since the loss of her family was about to leave, forcing her to be on her own with all of this again, Elizabeth let the tears fall freely down her cheeks. Victoria had David. Elizabeth would have no one.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Palmer asked, emerging from Elizabeth’s bedroom, wearing her patented sweatshirt and jeans, pulling her bag and warmer winter gear lying on top of it behind her. “Elizabeth, what–”

“Nothing. It’s nothing.” She wiped her cheeks. “Sorry. Where were we? Do we have enough time to just go over it again?”

“Don’t do that,” Palmer said, sitting down next to her and taking the papers they’d printed the previous night from Elizabeth’s hands, dropping them onto the table. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re leaving,” Elizabeth answered honestly. “I think I just realized how much I’m going to miss you.”

“You’re still coming to visit me soon, though. Right?”

“I’ll speak with security; I don’t know for sure. They might not like that idea, or the Prime Minister might–”

“Don’t do that,” Palmer said again. “Don’t try to make other people the reason you won’t do something, and don’t push me away just because I have to get back home. We made a plan, Lizzy. You’ll come for Christmas and stay with me. I’ll do my best to make it back in the summer.”

“But what about after that?” Elizabeth asked, letting it all out now, no longer fearing what might happen if she kept in her tears. “It’s going to be too hard, Palmer.”

“Bullshit,” Palmer argued, glaring at her. “Don’t pull this crap, Elizabeth. I just met you. This isn’t it. We’ll figure it out, okay?”

Elizabeth wiped her tears away again and decided to tell her, to finally tell her. Palmer had earned that much.

“Palmer, I have to tell you something,” she began. “It’s about Teagan.”

Palmer leaned back on the sofa and asked, “How long were you two together?”

“What? How did you–”

“I was staying at your house, Elizabeth,” Palmer interrupted. “I didn’t mean to, at first, but I noticed things. The pictures in your room, for one. They looked a lot like some I’ve taken with previousgirlfriends.” Palmer then looked over at Elizabeth. “I saw the books.”

“The books?” Elizabeth met her eyes. “Oh,thebooks.” She turned away again. “I meant to take those with me, but every time I looked at them, I couldn’t move.”

“Tell me about her; about the two of you?”

Elizabeth cleared her throat, stood, and went to the small table by the window to get herself a glass of water. Filling one and taking a long drink, she finally decided to tell the whole story.

“Teagan and I met in primary school, like I told you. Wewerebest friends.”

“Until?”

“We were fifteen,” Elizabeth answered and took another drink as she stared out the window into the wintery morning sky. “She went to kiss me on the cheek, but I moved my head on accident. I was just turning toward her because she was laughing, and our lips touched. It was innocent, but I left the encounter thinking about the next. That’s how it began.”

“That’s sweet,” Palmer said with a soft smile.

“It was. By the time we were sixteen, we were kissing for long minutes and calling it practice for when we’d kiss boys.”

“Anddidyou?” Palmer asked.

“We both tried it. It was easier for her. She wasn’t a Princess, but I kissed boys at a couple of parties. Nothing compared to kissingher, though.” She thought back on those first few kisses. “By the time we were seventeen, we were together. I called her my girlfriend in private, and she called me hers. She was my first in every way, and I loved her.”

“How long were you together?”

“Until she died,” Elizabeth replied.

“What? She was married to–”