Page 50 of When Sinners Hate
We walked the streets for a while, and she showed me some things about San Diego I didn’t know. It wasn’t hard. I don’t know much about this place, nor do I care in reality. All it is to me is a new part of this business we’re creating and what that might offer me. But in all this time, she’s still been unable to tell me anything about what she likes to do. There’s been murmurs about art and museums, and talk of the sea and boat trips, but it’s mainly been chatter or focused information rather than passion.
“It’s strange sitting here with a man like you,” she says. “Do all these women look like profit to you?”
“No. They look like people enjoying their night.”
She leans in, resting her chin in her hand. “But they could be. What makes the most money? Brunettes? How about that blonde over there?” I don't bother looking.
“It's not about that. Most men will fuck anything.”
“What then?”
“Usually the way they move. That's why we spend time training them. You spent your life learning to move like you do to attract men. You've honed it and made it a mission. We get months.”
“You're not even apologetic about it, are you? You steal lives and profit off misery and you smile at the thought.”
“I also make sure most of our girls make good money.”
“And now you're trying to justify yourself.”
“I don't need to justify myself. I have no one to answer to. I'm the top of my food chain, and no one’s coming for me.”
“Mmm.” She sips her drink and leans away, scrutinising everything about me. Face. Chest. Hands. Her tongue snakes over her lips. “And do I move well enough?”
“For what?”
“You.”
A smile broadens on my face. “And there you go getting all insecure and tense again. You feeling needy, darlin’?”
She stiffens. “I am not insecure, but you can give a girl whiplash, Abel.”
“You’re insecure and desperate for me to tell you how beautiful you are. But unless you want me to list the reasons why your daddy issues are the problem, I suggest you change the subject.”
Noise erupts behind me, and I look back to see a group of guys at the bar celebrating a win they’re watching on the screen. By the time I turn back she's part angling for a fight and part checking her temper. “Darlin’ you're gonna ruin this by lying to me in a minute. Don’t. I’ll have to turn all savage on you again, and you know I'm one step away from that most of the time.”
Her eyes narrow. “Fine. Do you like sports?”
I chuckle and shake my head, leaning back into the booth we’re sitting in. “No. I’m not usually a betting man. Dante’s the risk taker.”
“I never understood the need to gamble either. It’s always been about certainty for me. Control. It’s easier that way. You don’t risk anything if you’re in control of it.”
The admission makes me smile and sip my drink. “And that’s how you want the rest of your life?”
“It’s what I know. And you’re hardly one to talk. I can’t see you giving an inch on anything, ever.”
“You sound like Mariana now. She’s wrong too. I give plenty as long as it doesn’t impact the safety of those I care about.”
Something about her face softens as she takes that in. She crosses her legs and watches me, perhaps thinking about prying deeper than I’m prepared to go at the moment. “They meaneverything to you, don’t they? And I don’t mean like everyone else’s family do to them. I mean they’re literally everything. You’ve killed for them. You’d die for them. I expect every minute of your day revolves around them and where they’re at in life in some ways. That’s why you didn’t choose one of them to marry me. You took me on yourself to save them the potential agony of what could have been.”
I swallow the rest of my drink and put the glass down, about done with sentimental thoughts. “Clever girl.”
“I suppose that makes you a good man, Abel.”
“I’m nowhere near a good man. Never have been and don't intend to be. But I am a good brother.”
“And what about husband?”
We stare at each other. From my perspective, that’s all about how she behaves from this moment on. It’s in her hands to a certain extent. I’ll react accordingly, and she’ll get whichever version of me I see fit, depending on her actions.