Page 39 of Butterfly
“It’s not you. It’s everyone.”
“But I’m not everyone.” A new shiver crawls along my spine when he kisses my neck, right on a soft spot close to my shoulder. “Celebrities are narcissists and insecure. They constantly need special treatment.”
I get what he means, but I can’t give him an answer now. Besides, he’s right. He isn’t everyone. I specifically don’t want him to touch my back. The scars would lead to more questions, and the moment he learns about my past, he won’t want to see me again. I’m not deluded. I know that whatever is going on between us…this infatuation isn’t going to last. He’ll get bored, meet some top model who’ll make him crazy and look good in a tabloid, and he’ll forget about me. I’m okay with that. There’s safety in that. No surprises. No expectations. But I want to enjoy my short time with him, and telling him about my past means ruining that time, killing it before its expiration date. So there won’t be a ‘one day.’ As much as I like him, he hasn’t earnt the intimacy of sharing my pain. Not yet.
“Do you trust me?” The seriousness in his tone strikes a chord inside me. His body is caging me, but in a protective manner that radiates safety. Holding me by the hips, he turns me around so that I face him. “I know we haven’t known each other for long, but I feel a connection with you.” He takes my hand and presses it against his chest, over his heart that’s beating slowly and steadily. “I don’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. I want you to believe that.”
“I do.” I gaze up, but I’m not prepared for the devastating effect his solemn grey eyes and hard jaw have on me. A sudden tightness takes my throat. “I do,” I say again because it’s true. I trust him on that. I don’t trust him with my past.
“But you have to talk to me. Tell me what you like and what you don’t.”
I nod. “You’re right.”
He bends his head, but pauses an inch from my lips, asking for my permission. I kiss him, coiling my arms around his neck. His hands remain on my hips, although they twitch, as if he’s restraining himself from letting them slip over my back. It’s a soul-searching kiss, a pact between us. A plea to trust him. And a promise to do my best. With lazy strokes of his tongue, he conquers my trust and reduces my anxiety.
All the places he touches are throbbing with an unfamiliar urgency. Since when does a man make me pant for him? I have to squeeze my thighs together to ease the ache between them, and he’s only kissing me. If we were naked in bed, I’d melt in his arms and die from the pleasure. I’m breathless when he breaks the kiss and touches his forehead to mine. Our breaths mingle, sealing our silent pact of trust.
He brushes a lock of hair from my face. “We’d better go if you want to spend time with your friends because I can stay here all evening, kissing you.”
It’s so tempting to tell him that, yes, I want to stay here and kiss him all evening too.
“And Dart is waiting for us in my car,” he adds.
That’s a strong enough reason to leave. “Let’s go. I don’t want him to feel cold. He’s still recovering.”
Dart waggles his tail in wide circles when he sees me. The vet in me kicks in, and the moment I climb into the car, I touch his neck while he licks my wrist. The fur is slowly covering the cut, and there are no suspicious bumps or smells from the stitches. His pulse is strong, and the rubber sock is still on his paw. Nose cold and wet. Gums pink. Eyes bright. He’s perfect.
“You sure Tyler is okay with me taking Dart?” Alex asks, driving along the busy road.
“He’s a vet. Of course, he’s okay.” I shift on the supple seat that smells of expensive leather. “Besides, he definitely prefers animals to humans.”
“Why am I not surprised?”
The Londoners are clogging the streets despite the congestion charges, and we slog towards Tyler’s house. Dart slouches back on the seat and takes a nap.
“When are you leaving for L.A.?” I ask, hiding the sudden sadness rising in my chest.
“In two days.” He turns to caress Dart’s head. “I still have to book a kennel for him. Vance could do it, but I don’t trust anyone when it comes to Dart. I want to choose the kennel myself.”
“Nonsense. I’ll take him.”
He shoots a glance at me. “Will you? I’d feel much better knowing that he’s with you.”
“I’d love to have him.”
As if knowing what’s going on, Dart’s tail thumps in a fast rhythm, his chest rising and falling quickly.
Alex’s brow wrinkles. “Thank you, Sienna. Listen, I can—”
“No money.” I point a finger at him. “Dart is a friend. I don’t charge my friends for my hospitality.”
He clicks his tongue. “Another dinner then.”
“Deal.”
After we park at the kerb in front of a row of white townhouses, tension settles down my spine when we approach Tyler’s house. Dart is walking next to us. Yes, I said that Tyler was fine with having Alex in his house, but he’s so mercurial, I worry he might say something stupid.
Phoebe crushes me in a bear hug after she opens the door to welcome us. She’s hugged me a lot since that cursed trip to Tua Island, and I’m guilty of not having spent more time with her as I promised. Her long raven hair cascades around her in the enthusiasm of the hug.