Page 72 of Tutor With Benefits
“Oh, it’s bad,” I say. “But I don’t want to repeat myself, so Taylor better fucking get here soon, or I’m going to just go back in there and start kicking asses. I have never been so pissed in my entire life.”
“Damn.” Cory shakes his head. “Here he comes.”
He gives a nod in the direction of the other class building, and I see Taylor heading this way. He’s walking quickly, but he’s got the same look of confusion on his face that Cory did when he showed up. He knows we don’t convene like this unless there is reason for us to do so, and I know he’s expecting something big.
“Alright, spill it,” he says when he gets close. “You know I hate suspense, and if you’re not going to tell me what’s going on through text, then you better get it out in the open now.”
“You’re not going to like this,” I say.
“Spit it out!” Cory snaps. “We hate surprises, and neither of us are very happy about this little meeting you called, so just out with it, alright?”
“Tori’s not done with Johnny,” I blurt out. I don’t know how else to say it, and the words are out of my mouth in an instant.
“What?”
“You’re kidding.”
Both my best friends give me a look like I’m insane, but I just stare back at them.
“I’m serious,” I say. “I was going to talk to her after class this afternoon and find out if she wanted to go grab something to eat, and when I came around the corner to talk to her, I found her locked in an embrace with fucking Johnny! They weren’t just hugging, either. They were kissing!”
“Fuck, are you serious?” Taylor asks.
“You are serious, aren’t you?” Cory says. “Fuck! I knew it was a bad idea to fall for her or think that this past weekend meant shit! I knew it. Women just suck. They don’t know what they want or shit, and they just do what they want whenever. That’s fucked up.”
“Fuck,” Taylor says. “Calm down. We don’t know for sure that they’re back together, do we?”
“Why else would she be making out with him in the hallway?” I ask.
“Were they making out fully? Or was it one of those kisses she does when she’s in a hurry?” Taylor asks.
“Does it matter?” I reply. “I came around the corner to find the girl I thought was our girlfriend kissing some other guy. And this wasn’t just any other guy, either. This is the same guy she has been wanting to be with since how long? And she got with, then just last week she said she wasn’t sure about and now they’re kissing? I don’t know how either of you want to take this, but I don’t see this as any innocent thing.”
“No one said it was innocent,” Cory says. “But I do want to get some sort of a picture of what was going on, too.”
“Does it matter?” I say again.
“Sort of, I don’t know, fuck!” Taylor says as he walks back and forth. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“Then what was?” I ask. “What were we expecting? This is what we get for not bringing it up and talking to her about it.”
“You know something?” Cory suddenly says.
“What?”
We both turn to look at him and see what he has to say.
“You are absolutely right,” he says. “This really is our fault for not talking about it sooner. We should have talked to her when we started to fall in love with her. We should have talked to her when we realized that we weren’t happy without her and we had to watch her be all over fucking Johnny. Then this weekend we had yet another chance to talk to her and tell her how we feel, and we blew it again. The more we think she’s just going to be on the same page as we are, the more we get fucked, and I’m sick of it.”
Taylor and I remain silent for a moment.
He is absolutely right about that, and there’s nothing we can really say to argue. After all, we did have the chance to talk to her about how we were acting over the weekend, as well as find out from her what she thought about our relationship. It was really the perfect chance for us to figure out where we all stood with each other, and how we wanted to proceed.
But we were naïve enough to think she was going to just make her decision, and we were the ones she would choose. It made sense to us at the time, and we rolled with it despite the fact that we didn’t have much to back that up. It’s frustrating to say the least, and now we’re being faced with an entirely new situation we really don’t know how to handle.
I know relationships aren’t always a walk in the park, but I’m getting really annoyed about how difficult this one has been. I firmly believe that the issues we face have everything to do with the fact that this is true love. But, I also feel like true love shouldn’t be this difficult.
I know so many couples who feel like they’re on cloud nine as soon as they meet the person they want to spend their lives with, and I feel like I’ve been fighting a losing battle over this for a while now. It’s not been easy since we started having feelings for Tori, and it’s not getting any easier now that we’re engaging with her further.