Page 69 of Edge of Wonder
“It’s my name.”
I stood next to her, staring down at the letters, feeling hollow. She’d never known any peace, and yet her name engraved in stone claimed she did. That she rested in peace, a royal player with an empty grave beneath a weeping willow. I’d had a hand in the turmoil of her past, and while I couldn’t change it, I could still be an unwavering part of her future.
Assuming she let me. I wasn’t exactly crushing it in the romance department. I still remembered telling Alice that most relationships ended in either loathing, infidelity, or murder. Which historically speaking—they did—but that probably wasn’t the best way to a woman’s heart. Oh, and there was the time I claimed her attempts to help me sleep wouldn’t be enough to bring me down on one knee…Jeez, why do I even open my mouth?
Shire’s advice echoed in my mind. Killer croquet, deadly traps, and fatal teacups weren’t as daunting as finding the right words. I’d never needed them before. Had sworn off using them, valuing a quick affair over anything deeper.
Staying had never been part of the plan, and now it seemed like the only destination. But there were no maps to guide me, and each step felt like I’d walked into quicksand.
Alice had moved past the marker, searching the graves. She knelt in front of one, placing her palm against the stone.
“I think this is it. They were buried together.”
I knelt beside her. “Do you remember your parents?”
“Very little. I just remember that my father smelled like wood smoke, and my mother like spun sugar. She used to make candies, and my hands were always sticky. That’s weird, isn’t it? I can’t remember their faces, but I recall their smell.”
“Actually, it’s very common. Scent is directly linked to how we remember things. It’s probably one reason ghosts struggle with their memory.”
“Hmm…” Alice smiled wistfully and twisted the signet ring on her finger. The same gryphon from her band was carved into the stone. “Do they know we’re here?”
“Let me try to make a connection.” I placed my hand on top of the grave and my other on the ground. Alice watched me, waiting patiently for something to happen.
“You don’t have to hold your breath,” I murmured.
She exhaled a puff of air. “Sorry. I’m nervous. I want this to work so badly, and I'm afraid they won't answer.”
The ground was still and quiet beneath my hand. Disappointment slumped my shoulders, but I tried again, calling out to the other side. I channeled all of my energy into the ether, but they didn’t answer.
My fingers dug into the dirt, anger melding with my summons. How could they not be there? She’d been through hell, and there was just silence. It was irrational because I knew it wasn’t their fault. Summoning was always a gamble. With anyone else, I would have shrugged and said, ‘Tough luck’, but this was Alice.
I released the stone, clenching my fists until it hurt. “Alice I’m sor–”
Tears glistened in her eyes, a single one burning a path down her cheek. I brushed it away with my thumb. Her lips trembled, wrecking me.
“They’re here.” The lie slipped between my teeth, and I silently cursed myself for being so foolish.
“What do they say?”
She was holding her breath again, looking at me like I held her heart in my hands. And I didn’t want to let it go.
I swallowed around the knot in my throat, trying to thread this needle and get the words right. “They are so proud of you. Of all you’ve done. Your sacrifice. Your resilience. The way you laugh when things are hard.” I paused as if to listen for more. A hush had fallen around us as if even the dead wanted to hear. The fading sun’s rays framed her delicate features as she slipped her hand into mine, interlacing our fingers.
My voice broke over the words I wanted to say. “You are so beautiful, Alice. Everything they never knew to hope for, and didn’t even realize they could want.”
Alice’s gaze dropped to our intertwined fingers. Her brow drew together, then she looked at the gravestone. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking, and as the seconds passed with her silence, my heart thundered in my ears.
Did she know?
“Thank you, Sebastian,” she whispered, wiping at the tears under her eyes. “I think I need a moment alone if you don’t mind.”
“Yes. Of course.” I rose to my feet, feeling unsteady like the ground had tilted at an angle. I walked down the path, pausing under a weeping willow. My fist ground into the tree trunk. That was not what Shire had meant when she told me to express my feelings. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t supposed to be buried underneath a deception.
But what was I supposed to do? Let her walk away without giving her what she needed? I couldn’t even confess the truth because then I was pairing it with the fact she didn’t get to speak to her parents, tainting the whole thing.
Damn it! I screwed that up.
And to make things worse, Peter was now walking down the path, headed toward Alice. I bet he had no trouble finding the right words. Could probably say them in his sleep. My jaw clenched.