Page 61 of Ruthless Sinner
ChapterEighteen
Serenity
“I would totally kill to be in your shoes,” Jodie shrieks in her high-pitched voice.She'sNatalie's maid of honor.
Her voice has always reminded me of what a rat would sound like if it could talk.
Out of all my stepsister's friends, she's the most annoying.The others are just as self-centered and shallow, but that voice... ugh. You can hear it from a mile away and then some.
Jodie can't stand me either, so the feeling is definitely mutual.
I'm sitting in the garden with all of Natalie's bridesmaids, Melissa and her friends.
As Natalie and Lawrence’s wedding is exactly a month away, tonight is the start of the celebrations.They're calling this get-together thepre-engagement party.The real engagement party is set for the week after Dad returns from Japan and will be held in the Grand Hall of the Four Seasons Hotel. It will be just as extravagant as the upcoming wedding, which Natalie has already declared the wedding of the century.
The women are out here while the men—which, God help, me includes Matthew—are inside playing pool. Everyone, except me, has someone to talk to. Harper was invited, but she left for Australia this morning.
It's just gone past eight. I've been here for about an hour, but I'm so ready to leave.I was ready to go even before I arrived and would have opted for skipping out if Dad hadn't called me earlier and insisted I attend.I knew if I didn't show up, I wouldn't hear the end of it. So, here I am, alone amongst the group and miserable as fuck, still teetering on that line of sanity.
It's been two nights since I saw Dante watching Matthew and me at the restaurant.
After getting that note, when I first saw him, my heart leapt with joy.
Again—foolishly—the same way I didn’t think about how he knew where I lived, I never freaked out and wondered how he knew I’d be at the restaurant. I was just so happy to see him it didn’t matter.
I was so happy I didn’t remember I was actually on a date with another guy until moments later, and I felt Dante couldn’t have been happy to see that.
Then something I felt was the truth hit me, and I realized he wouldn’t have allowed me to see him that way if he didn't want me to, so the reason for his presence was something else. Something final. Like goodbye.
That’s what I felt, and not feeling his presence over the last few nights makes me think I’m right.
It’s placed me in such a bad mood. Worse than how I felt when he told me I shouldn’t see him again.
Over the last few days, I’ve gone through a range of emotions and settled on being mad at myself.
And for what?
Curiosity?
Desperation?
Desire…
Now I'm lost and lonely. The worst part is, I’d do it again. I would do everything all over again and change nothing just to have that moment between us when Dante wanted me and I was ready to give myself to him.
“We're going to wait for a year before we have kids.” Natalie’s excited voice wedges into my thoughts.
She waves her hands in front of her so the light can pick up the glint of the oversized diamond on her finger.
Melissa places her hand over her heart like a beauty queen getting ready to give her pageant speech. “I don’t know what to be excited about more.”
“I know, Mom.” Natalie laughs. “It’s all so exciting. My life couldn’t be more amazing, and my career has taken off in a tremendous way.”
Yes, it’s all so very exciting. I could vomit from it. Maybe if I’d been treated better over the years, I’d be happy for her.
“Do tell them your other news,” Melissa says in a sing-song voice.
“Oh, Mom.” Natalie does the same beauty queen hand thing, feigning modesty.