Page 13 of Just Our Secret

“The sauce is ready but not the pasta,” he replied. “I just started boiling the water. How about an epic Mario Kart battle while we wait?”

“Okay,” Liam said with wide eyes. “You’re going down.”

“We’ll see about that,” Connor replied, gesturing at the pot on the stove with the neck of his beer. “Can you toss the noodles in when it comes to a boil?”

I tapped two fingers to my forehead in a mock salute. “Yes, sir.”

When they were safely in the living room, the wall of the galley kitchen between them and us, Wade and I awkwardly turned to each other.

“So…” he said, running a hand through his hair, “how’s it going?”

I quirked a brow and kept my voice low as I stepped over to the stove and checked on the water in the pot. “Oh, you know, fine. Just a little bit freaking out.”

He took in a breath through his nose. “About the other day?”

“Uh, yeah. Aren’t you?”

He stared at me for a long moment, his face a blank mask. “Andi, look, I want to apologize for that.”

This brought me up short. Apologize? I wasn’t sure what I’d expected, but an apology wasn’t on my radar. I knew what I hoped would happen, and that was that Wade Baker, the guy I’d been secretly in love with for-fucking-ever would confess that he’d always had a thing for me, too. But this? No, I didn’t expect this look of shame on his face.

“Apologize?”

“Yeah. It was my fault. And it was a mistake. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

I tried to read his face to see if there was any trace of a lie there, but I couldn’t find one. “I see.”

He paced the small space for a minute, awkward energy pouring off of him, making me feel like the kitchen was suddenly way too small. “It’s just that… it’s been a while since I’ve been with anyone. And you were there in my room, and it was just a moment that I got caught up in. But you’re my best friend’s little sister, you know? This can’t happen.”

My mind spun. First, I hated the idea that I’d simply been a convenient, warm body to him. Second, the fact that he called me Connor’slittlesister had my back going up, wanting to show him exactly how grown up I’d become. I wasn’t the same little girl who followed my brother and his friends around when we were kids. I was a woman. And the way he’d grabbed me and kissed me at the firehouse made me think he finally freaking knew it.

“Itcan’thappen?” I asked, eyeing him carefully.

“No.”

“Because you don’t want it to, or because you think Connor would have a problem with it?”

“Andi, come on. We’re friends. We don’t want to do anything to mess all this up, right? I’m telling you, it was a heat-of-the-moment mistake. No reason to make a big deal out of it.”

Wow. His words were like harsh blows to my chest, and I took a step back out of reflex. “Right. Okay.”

“I’m sorry. I feel like I really screwed up.”

“No, hey, don’t worry about it. I’m fine,” I lied.

I felt his eyes on me while I turned to the stove. The water was boiling, so I grabbed the box of spaghetti and made quick work of adding it to the pot, followed by some salt to keep it from sticking.

How the hell had I been so stupid? I’d spent the whole weekend marveling over the fact that the epic fantasy I’d had for years that Wade could possibly like me back wasn’t a fantasy at all.

But no.

It turned out to be as one-sided as ever. It was a dumb crush on my big brother’s best friend, and he still looked at me like I was nothing more than his best friend’s little sister.

Glancing around the kitchen, I tried to remember where they kept the colander for when it was time to strain the pasta. I needed to keep my hands busy. Though I felt Wade watching me as I searched, I was too pissed at him and his dumb, horny man brain to ask him where it was. If he wasn’t going to make something happen between us, he should have kept his fucking hands to himself.

Finally, I remembered where they kept it. It was on the top shelf of the cabinet Wade stood in front of. I stepped over, pointing at the cabinet. “Sorry, I need to get in there.”

“Oh, sure.” He jumped out of the way before I could get too close, almost like he was scared to be near me.Coward.