Page 17 of Just Our Secret
Him and his hands. His lips. His eyes, when he looked at me like he wanted to eat me that day at the firehouse.
Except it had been a joke, because it wasn’t me that he saw. According to him, I could have been anyone. He just hadn’t gotten laid in a while, right?
“Nope.”
“Agh, look. Andi, I apologized, okay? I’m sorry. I’m sorry I kissed you, and I’m sorry I made this so weird.”
“You’ve done enough apologizing, Wade. I really don’t need to hear it anymore.”
“Then what can I say so we can go back to normal?”
I looked up at him then. “Weareback to normal.”
“Thisis back to normal?”
“You’re the one who pestered me into talking about it! We could have just started studying.”
“Andi–”
“You can’t just go around kissing people all willy-nilly. Okay? That’s why I’m pissed. It’s cruel.”
At this, a bitter laugh escaped him, and he pushed away from the table. He paced in a small circle, bringing his strong arms up to run both hands through his hair.
Finally, he turned back to me, his voice sounding tired. “I didn’t kiss you allwilly-nilly, Andi. Trust me.”
Hope sprang forth in my chest, and my pulse picked up speed, hammering away in my ears so loudly I was sure he could hear it. He hadn’t kissed me just because I was there?
“But you said—”
“I know what I said.”
I stood from the table, keeping it between us, but I was too wound up to stay seated. What was he saying? Could it be that he’d kissed me because it was me? Had he wanted to do it just as long as I had?
No, that wasn’t possible. I knew he didn’t like me. I’d spent years living in that reality. So was this a new attraction, then? Maybe he’d finally realized I wasn’t ‘Connor’s little sister’ but a woman.
Only one way to find out. Because if he was giving me an inch here, I was going to take it. And a mile too, if I could get away with it. I didn’t go for him back in the day because I was young and scared. Now, I wanted to show him how much I’d grown since then.
I stepped cautiously around the side of the table and put my hands on the chair that was now between us. He watched me with hawklike eyes, and I wondered if I could get him to open up if I opened up first. Just a little bit since I had no interest in embarrassing myself again, but maybe just enough to hear what was really behind that kiss. And what might still be there.
“Wade, I like you.”
He closed his eyes, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed.
When he didn’t say anything, I bit my lip, trying again. “Do you like me?”
“Andi.”
“It’s a simple question, Wade.”
He opened his eyes again, an intense but secretive expression there. “No, it isn’t.”
“Why not?”
“A lot of reasons.”
My mind tried to put the pieces of the puzzle together as I held my breath, waiting to see if he’d give me more. I was pretty sure he was inching around telling me hedidlike me, so I thought mentioning our history might help.
“Wade?”