Page 22 of Just Our Secret

Wade’s eyes were huge as he stared at me, and I couldn’t tell if he’d decided I was the freak for noticing that he did it, or if he was feeling guilty that I’d noticed. But either way, he didn’t speak, and the silence was deafening.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. It was probably my imagination.”

He let out a short, humorless laugh. “Andi, I don’t specifically remember doing that exact thing every time, but I definitely think I know why I did it.”

“Why?” I asked, mesmerized by the sheer longing in his eyes.

“Because it was really hard to hide how much I liked you around Connor. It was one thing to think about you when you weren’t around… which, uh, I did pretty fucking often. But when you were around, I felt like my dumb teenage brain couldn’t handle the stress.”

I wanted to grab his face and kiss the hell out of him, but I knew I couldn’t. And it killed me. But maybe if Liam wasn’t looking, I could give him just a little quick one.

My eyes searched the playground for my son, traveling from the play structure to the swings to the jungle gym. I spun, looking at every bench or water fountain in case he’d needed a rest.

“Andi?” Wade asked, concern coloring his tone. “Where’s Liam?”

“Ugh, not again,” I said under my breath. Then I looked pointedly at Wade. “I think he’s pulling the disappearing act again.”

Wade chuckled, cupping his hands over his mouth. “Liam, come out, buddy. This isn’t funny.”

We looked around the park, searching for Liam amongst the other kids running around. It wasn’t exactly a madhouse at the playground today, but there were enough kids running in opposite directions that I had to really focus to register that one of them wasn’t my kid.

Wade and I split up, and I yelled for him. “Liam! I’m serious. Stop hiding.”

A mom about twice my age looked me up and down. I wanted to glare at her and tell her to stop judging me and help look for my kid, but I gave her a shy smile instead, nodding in apology for practically yelling in her ear.

I made my way around half the playground, no sight of Liam anywhere. I’d been a hide-and-seek master when I was a kid, and I was uncannily good at finding places for a kid to hide. And yet, Liam was nowhere to be found, and panic started to rise in my throat.

Wade and I met up in the middle of the playground again, each of us finished searching the half we’d run through. I was breathless when I reached him, and he caught me by the arms.

“Andi, look at me. He’s fine. We’re about to find him. Don’t panic.”

I nodded, swallowing. “Yeah, he’s just playing.”

Wade straightened again, swallowing hard as he scanned the playground. “He’s just playing.”

“Liam,” I called again, noticing that some of the other moms had started looking around, too.

Every time I was at the park and a mom lost sight of their kid, I could always tell. There was this telltale look on their faces that said, “It’s probably fine, they’re probably right over there. No not there, what the fuck, where are they? Oh, shit. Right there. Okay, calm down, Susan.” And then they’d inevitably yell to their kid to stay where they could see them.

Lately, I’d been giving this look much more frequently than seeing it on others, and now that I was in this spot again, it felt like there were rocks in my gut. My kid really needed to stop fucking doing this.

“Andi,” Wade said, nodding at the woods across the street. “You don’t think he’d go over there, do you?”

I followed his gaze. “He never has before.”

“We’ve looked everywhere over here.”

And that was when I saw it. Next to a rock on the other side of the two-lane road, was Liam’s bright-orange jacket.

TWELVE

WADE

Andi grabbed my arm and scratched out something that sounded like a plea and a sob and “Liam” right when I saw what’d caused her reaction. We took off running, dodging kids and passing moms who watched with wide eyes.

“Liam!” I yelled, eyes straining to see any sign of him. What had he been wearing? The jacket and jeans, I thought, but was that right? And what color of shirt underneath? Why had he taken off his jacket? Or,oh shit, please no, had someone taken it off for him?

Andi yelled his name next to me, and just after, her voice cut out in a gasp. “There.” She pointed to the tree right at the edge of the road, and sure enough. There was Liam, high up on a branch and terrified.