Page 33 of Last Call
“Mr. and Mrs. Ryan, I can explain—” Sam starts, but Lex holds up his hand.
“No need to explain. We’re all adults here, are we not? And as adults, I assume you’ve been tested for STDs and you were practicing safe sex?”
“I, uh…” Samantha looks at Jax with wide eyes. “Are you clean?” she hisses.
“Ah, lass, that should’ve been a question before ye got naked with my son. Does he have a gammy penis?” Lex picks up a pen and holds it up, inspecting it like it’s a model of a penis.
Samantha looks horrified. “What’s a gammy penis?” she asks Jax.
“Da, stop. You’re embarrassing me.” Jax shifts in his seat and I have to hold myself together to keep from giggling.
“It means ‘wonky’. Was it weird or is our Jax here a well-endowed stallion?”
“Da!” Jax barks, standing up. “Stop, please.”
Lex laughs and sits back in his chair, flipping the pen between his fingers. “Sit down, boyo, I’m only messing with ye. But in all seriousness, when ye have sex in my house with yer mot undermyroof, I need to make sure ye covered yer bases. Did ye use protection?”
“Yes,” he grouses, sitting back down. “She’s not my mot, we’re chemistry partners.”
“Ah, I see.” Lex looks at Jax thoughtfully. “Well, yer mum and I can’t stop ye from havin’ sex with future Colleens, but ye need to be mindful of yer family. One of the twins could have busted in on ye.”
“Shite,” Jax whispers.
“Yeah, shite.”
“Um, what’s a mot and who’s Colleen?” Samantha interrupts.
“Nothing, it means a girl,” Jax grumbles.
The door to the office opens and Alexis walks in. “Mommy, the show ended. Hi, Daddy.”
“Alexis, what have we told you about knocking?” I look pointedly at Jax, who shrinks in his seat.
“Hey, Mouse. Give us one more minute and we’ll be done here, ’kay?”
“Okay, Jose.” Alexis looks at Samantha curiously and then at Jax. “Jax, your skanks is pretty. Later, bitches.” She blinks and then walks out like she didn’t just light a bag of shit on fire and throw it in the middle of the room.
I slide my hand down my face and groan. Lex gives me a pointed look. “Where the hell did she pick that up from?”
“One guess.” I fold my arms over my chest.I’m going to fucking kill Uncle TJ.
“Um, Mr. Ryan? Can I get your autograph?”
“I think we’re past autographs, Samantha,” I say before Lex can dig in his desk drawer for paper. The nerve of this girl.
Jax gets up, grumbling, and stomps out of the office. Samantha grabs her backpack off the floor. “It was, um, nice to meet you. I’m, uh, sorry about our…er, study session.” She dashes out the door.
Closing my eyes, I pinch the bridge of my nose. “We’re screwed.”
“Yup.” Lex drops the pen and leans back in his chair. “We’ve got a teenager.”
“A sexually active one. I’m so not prepared for this.”
He reaches out his arms, coaxing me toward him. He pulls me onto his lap. “Ah, Sunshine. He’s just like me at that age.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better? Because it doesn’t. And I can’t stop Alexis from talking like she’s Cardi B. And Wyatt’s in therapy. What are we doing wrong, Lex? Do I need to cut back on work and be more present here? Maybe we shouldn’t all go on tour with you this summer.”
“Shh, Love. It’s going to be okay.” He kisses my neck and I relax against him. “You and I have weathered worse than this. Yer comin’ on tour with me. Shiloh Rum Do, Sunshine.”