Page 38 of Let Me Love You
I can’t.
"Ash.” Colt’s deep voice is a stark contrast to the silence I'd been shrouded in.
I dig my fingernails into my bare legs, but I don't answer him. I keep sitting on the bed, staring out the window. If I say something, I'll break. I'll finally lose my shit and say something I shouldn't. Something I don't want to. Something I won't be able to take back.
“Talk to me, Ash.” His heavy footsteps reverberate off the hardwood floor as he steps closer to me.
Not too close, though.
No. He's keeping his distance.
Because he knows he fucked up.
We both do.
I can feel him watching me. Feel his anxiety. His fear.
But I'm too numb to care. Too drained. Too broken.
"Is itstillonly a rumor, Colt?" I whisper in the quiet room.
The moisture in my eyes blurs my view of the skyline. I blink, letting the tears roll down my cheek as I force myself to finally look at him. His hair is wet from his shower, the curls tighter than usual. Or maybe it’s sweat. He’s been gone for a while. And he’s used to pushing himself physically when he’s feeling lost or overwhelmed.
And fuck me, I’d be overwhelmed, too, if I was lying to my girlfriend and had a kid walking around somewhere no one knows about.
His chest heaves like he’s out of breath. He probably rushed to find me so I wouldn't have to be alone. So he'd have a chance to explain everything before I woke up and saw Blakely’s text and the article. There’s probably more. More articles. More rumors. More assumptions. More lies? Or are they truths? It doesn’t matter. Everyone knows about it now. Everyone has all the little details lined up in a row. Everyone’s already drawn their conclusions. It makes sense, considering all the messages from strangers. I stopped caring about what strangers thought of me a long time ago.
But if a random stranger knows, then…
Shit.
The article.
The pictures.
Everyone knows.
My mom. My dad. My friends.
Everyone.
Everyone knew before I did.
How messed up is that?
"You know what's insane?" I choke out. “All I ever wanted was a normal life. Nothing fancy. Nothing crazy or out of the ordinary. Just...normal. Even monotonous would've been great. Like, I didn't think my standards were very high, ya know?” My bottom lip trembles, and I suck it into my mouth, praying he doesn't notice.
“Sunshine,” he begs. His tone is laced with desperation as he reaches for me but stops himself at the edge of the bed.
“Then, I met you,” I whisper, turning back to the window. A bird is sitting on one of the branches of the closest tree. Its blue and white feathers gleam in the sun. "And it was so easy. Falling for you. I mean, yeah. Logan was an ass, and I was scared to accept the fact that a guy as amazing as you could love me. But it was still…easy." I look at him again, my heart breaking. "It was so easy falling in love with you, Colt. So easy trusting you."
"You can still trust me."
"Are you gonna take the test?"
“What test?” he asks.
“The article mentioned a paternity test.”