Page 41 of Let Me Love You
“Agreed.” Blakely quips.
Ashlyn nods, her eyes as glassy as ever. “I had this future all planned out in my head. One with a house, and a dog, and a few little kids. We’d be married and happy and…” Her voice trails off as her teeth dig into her bottom lip. It trembles, and she sniffs.
“It’s so frustrating, you guys,” she continues. “I know he didn’t cheat on me. I know this all happened before we ever met, but it doesn’t mean this doesn’t hurt. I need some time to wrap my head around everything. He lied to me. He told me it was a rumor. But I don’t think it is. And do you want to know the really pathetic part?” She squeezes her eyes shut and shakes her head back and forth. “I can still see him. Still see the little boy’s face. It’s like it’s branded into my memory, and I don’t even know his name.”
“Do you still love him?” Kate whispers from the ugly floral print chair in the corner of the family room. “Colt? Even though he threw your plans off? Your dreams?”
“More than anything, which almost makes it worse.” Ash’s voice cracks, and she lets out another pathetic laugh. “Because if I didn’t love him, I could walk away. But the idea of walking away feels like I’m being dipped in a vat of acid, so…yeah. Not so great.” Blakely lifts the tequila bottle tucked in her lap and offers it to Ashlyn. Without a word, she grabs it, taking another long pull from the bottle, making a sour face as the fire trails down her throat.
“Okay. I’m all spilled out,” she announces. “Now, can we please watch a show and eat junk food?”
“I’ll grab the spoons,” Blake offers.
“I’m gonna”—Kate stands, her skin paler than usual as she wipes her hands on her summer dress—“go to the bathroom real quick.”
She rushes down the hall like a ghost is chasing her, and my eyes narrow.
Sensing something’s off, I follow her. When we’re far enough away from the kitchen, I keep my voice quiet and call out, “Hey.”
She pauses and turns around, her eyes filled with unshed tears like she’s barely holding herself together.
“Whoa. What’s wrong?” I demand.
“I’m pregnant,” she blurts out.
My jaw drops, and I look over my shoulder, confirming we’re still alone. “You’re pregnant?”
She sucks her bottom lip into her mouth and nods.
“Since when?”
“Couple days ago?” Her hands press to her pale cheeks, and she shakes her head, clarifying, “Er, I found out a couple of days ago.”
“Holy shit.”
She laughs, but it turns into a whimper, her emotions all over the place.
I inch closer and grab her hands. “Does anyone else know?”
Her head shakes back and forth again.
“What about Mack?” I ask.
“I haven’t told him.”
“So, are these happy tears or sad tears?” I question, motioning to her glassy eyes, unsure exactly which way we’re taking this conversation.
Her shoulders lift in a shrug, and another pathetic laugh slips out. “They’re just tears. My emotions are all over the place. I don’t know what to do or say or think. And now, with everything going on with Ashlyn and Colt and a freaking baby that doesn’t belong to her, I’m even more scared to say anything, ya know? Like, what do I say? How do I tell her? Or anyone else, for that matter?”
“Yeah, I can imagine.” I pull Kate into a hug and rub my hand up and down her back. Neither of us is known for loving physical affection, but it's what she needs right now. To not feel alone. To not feel like she has to carry this pretty freaking massive burden all by herself. And yeah. A baby is a pretty freaking massive burden. A good one for some people, yes. But a burden, nonetheless. Being a parent can’t be easy, no matter how excited you may or may not be to become one.
And Kate?
Clearly, she’s a mess.
“You’re not alone,” I tell her. “And even if you marched into the family room and told the rest of the girls, we both know Ash and Blake would be nothing but supportive and excited for you.”
“I know,” she whispers against me. “I know they would be. But I don’t even know ifI’mhappy yet, especially when I don’t know how Mack will feel when he finds out. But I also don’t want to tell him because I’m not ready to find out what his reaction will be. Does that make me a bad person?”