Page 55 of Let Me Love You
“Ash.”
She lifts her hands in surrender. “You’re right. I’ll stop.” We drive in silence for a few more minutes. My heartbeat pounds in my ears. As I pull onto the main road, she murmurs, “Listen…”
The metallic taste of blood seeps onto my taste buds as I wait, knowing I’m not gonna like what Ash has to say, even though she deserves the opportunity to speak her mind. To tell me what she’s thinking.
But the foreboding is too strong. Too heady. She’s been acting off ever since Eleanor introduced herself. Like a switch flipped or some shit, and I don’t know why.
I look at her from the corner of my eye again, but her lips are pulled thin, and her arms are crossed. Like she’s lost her nerve.
Unable to take the silence for another second, I grit out, “Just say it, Ash.”
“I think you need to give her another shot.” She stares blankly at the dashboard as the words tumble out of her. “Arealone.”
Fucking hell.
I slam my hand against the steering wheel, the last of my patience making me snap. “Are you serious right now?”
“Listen—”
“I don’t want Eleanor!”
“I know you don’t.” Her voice is quieter now. But it’s almost worse. The tightness in her tone. The slight rasp. The small hitch. Because I know Ash isn’t saying this to be a bitch. The girl doesn’t have a bitchy bone in her body. No. She’s trying to look out for me. She’s trying to be selfless. Trying to do what’s best, even if it kills her.
“I don’t want Eleanor,” I repeat, softer. My exhaustion battles my frustration until my vision blurs. “Idon’t. I want us. I want our future. I want everything we’ve dreamed of. Everything we’ve planned.”
“Our plans went out the window as soon as Jaxon came into the picture.”
“Don’tsay that,” I seethe, and she jerks back at the animosity in my voice.
“You’re right,” she whispers. “They aren’t gone or anything, but theyhavechanged, Colt. You have to see it.”
“Why do they need to change?”
“Because you have a baby. It’s a pretty big curveball, Colt. All I’m saying is it needs to be taken into account.”
“And I’m taking it into account with you,” I grit out. “I don’t want to hear any of this bullshit about me giving Eleanor a chance.”
“She’s the mother of your child,” Ash reminds me. “You know what it’s like to live without a father in your home. I can’t be the reason your little boy grows up the same way. It isn’t fair.”
“Don’t say shit like that,” I order. I throttle the steering wheel with all my strength, my patience slipping more and more with every word spoken between us.
“Just because it isn’t what you want to hear doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to say it.”
“I don’t want Eleanor,” I repeat.
“I believe you, Colt. I do, but…” Again, her voice trails off, and she closes her eyes. As if this is killing her.
“But what?” I demand.
“That little boy deserves youandhis mother in his life. Deserves parents who are present, unlike how mine were. At the very least, he deserves you to think about it. To think about mending your relationship with his mom. To give the idea of a real, happy family a shot.”
“Why are you doing this?” Defeat settles in my chest, making it hard to breathe. “Why are you pushing me on this?”
“Because I know you, Colt. I saw the way you looked at Jaxon.”
“We don’t even know if he’s mine or not.”
“I think we both know what you just spouted is a bunch of bullshit,” she argues as if her frustration is finally getting the best of her. A single tear slips down her pale cheek, and she wipes at it angrily. “He’s yours, and Eleanor had to twist your arm to hold him.”