Page 52 of Rule Number Five
I nearly tackled the guy before realizing it was Lucas. “You gotta fucking death wish? It was just an off night.”
He ignored me. “So, what are you going to do about your Sidney problem?” His normal sarcasm was missing from his voice.
Of course, the nosey bastard couldn’t stay out of it. I rubbed both hands over my face and let a long breath out. “I don’t know. I really don’t know.”
He stood next to my locker, his voice serious. “You ever think you might love her?”
My gaze snapped to his, and my breath whooshed out of me. I closed my eyes and pulled on my hair until my scalp hurt, hating the words I was about to say. “Wouldn’t matter if I did. She’s been loud and clear about where this is going.”
He shook his head. “Never took you as someone who would just give up.”
That earned him a backhanded slap across his stomach.
“Oomph.” He gave me a disbelieving look. “What the hell was that for?”
“For giving me a hard fucking time.”
He rubbed his stomach and turned away from me. “Whatever, man, but if I were you, I’d be fighting for that.”
Intrusive thoughts tried to seep into my mind, and I dragged my hand over my face, working out my frustration. Sid’s unwillingness to try was a constant presence in my thoughts. I knew she was off to start a big career, and our schedules would be a fucking disaster. But knowing how I felt and what I would give to be with her, I couldn’t understand why she didn’t want to risk it. There was something I didn’t know, something more stopping this that she hadn’t told me.
I pushed the thoughts down and suppressed them the best I could. An overwhelming need to get away took over me, and I grabbed my bag, leaving without saying goodbye.
It was impossible to change everything that was happening. I knew that, but damn, what Lucas said sounded good. If I could just convince her to let go a little, to be open to the idea of reaching out into the unknown. The hope slipped from my chest, knowing asking her to be with me wouldn’t be fair. Her plans for her future didn’t align with mine, and I’d be a conceited asshole not to understand that.
I grabbed my phone, firing off a text.
Me: Your place or mine?
Bubbles appeared and disappeared on the screen.Come on, baby. Don’t shut me out.
Trouble: Mine
Damn right you are.
She was mine for now, and I was going to take advantage of every single second of it. Walking into the parking lot, I headed to my truck. Nothing was going to stop me from getting to her.
I could feel the hollowness in my chest when I pulled up to her place, still struggling to suppress what my heart wanted versus what our reality was.
Me: Come for a ride with me?
Trouble: Be down in a min
Sid got into the truck and took one look at me. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
She was all bundled up in one of my enormous sweaters. Sweater stealing would typically be a capital offense, but she looked damn good wrapped up in it. Did it smell like me?
“Nothing. Just a hard practice.” Her brow raised, not believing a second of my bullshit. But I couldn’t talk to her about it. Not without pressuring her into something she didn’t want. Or worse, freaking her out and losing her for good. Instead, I slid my fingers through hers. “I just need to drive. Okay?”
She squeezed my hand and flipped the center console up, converting the front of my truck into a bench seat. She tucked herself under my arm, fitting perfectly against my side, somehow knowing exactly what I needed. She drew small circles over my arm and turned her hair elastic that was ever present on my wrist. “Want to talk about it?”
I kissed the top of her head. “Not tonight.”
She nodded, snuggling in closer, and we drove together through the night. I pulled up to her place just as the sun pinkened the sky. The air was thick with everything that stood between us. Putting the truck in park, I cupped the sides of her face, running my thumbs over her cheekbones. “Don’t disappear on me?”
Her eyes went wide. “I didn’t.”
I dropped my forehead to hers. “I don’t need an explanation. Just please don’t disappear on me.”