Page 2 of Forever & Always
“Please, can I transfer to U of T?” I pulled back and looked at her with tear-filled eyes. “Please?”
She stroked back strands of hair that was sticking to the side of my face because of my tears and rubbed at my cheeks with her thumbs. “Are you sure that wouldn’t just make it worse? Maybe you should wait one more semester and see if things work out. Maybe Dylan will realize what he’s doing.”
“He won’t.” I shook my head adamantly. I felt like a caged animal looking for an escape. “They treat him like a God, and I can’t compete. I don’t want to.”
My mother’s eyes were sad. “Doesn’t he spend any time with you?”
“You mean like it’s been this Christmas?” I closed my eyes and more tears squeezed out as I pointed out the obvious. I opened them and shook my head again. “It’s exactly like this all the time. Everyone is clamoring for him constantly; he doesn’t need me. He just gets mad when I don’t want to come to the parties to be part of the adoring crowd.”
“I’m sure it’s overwhelming and the attention makes him feel good, but he’ll come around, Remi.”
“What about howIfeel? I can’t stand watching it, Mom. It’s as if he’s a different person.”
“Okay,” my mother said. “I’ll talk to your dad, but it’s too late for this semester, Remi. The transfer can’t happen with only days before the semester begins.”
“Okay, I’ll go to Clemson one more semester, but please tell Daddy I want to transfer because of St. Jude and my future goals. Not Dylan,” I pleaded. My father and Dylan were close, and I wasn’t sure he could keep the secret. “Please, Mom.”
“Okay, baby,” she agreed. “I think Daddy would understand but he wouldn’t want you to make a hasty decision.”
“I know I’ll lose my scholarship, but I’ll pay you back when I’m a doctor.” U of T had offered me a full ride out of high school, but I was unsure if it would be offered considering they weren’t my first choice. It wasn’t fair to ask my parents to pay tens of thousands of dollars just because I’d made a stupid mistake. I’d use this extra semester at Clemson to figure out the details, but even if I had to pay for the entire thing through student loans, I didn’t care.
My mother had squeezed me tight and kissed my forehead. “Don’t worry about that, baby.”
Now, sitting here in the booth waiting for Dylan, more memories assailed me. Our first semester, we arrived on campus excited for the future. Dylan was on a full soccer scholarship, and I had one of my own for academics. He was smart, too, but soccer was what he wanted the most. My parents and Dylan’s dad had attended Clemson so it was fitting that both of us would choose it as well.
Dylan was my best friend in the world, and I knew he was destined to play professional soccer just as I was destined to have a career in childhood oncology. He knew my cancer story and had also aspired to med school for the same reason, but I could see that he loved playing soccer and had since we were young. My dad said he was good enough to go all the way, and he would know because he’d done so, himself, so Dylan decided on a physical therapy degree. Our entire family encouraged him, as did I. I was his biggest fan. My heart seized inside my chest. Leaving would be so hard, but it would be less painful than being on the outside looking in on Dylan’s life.
I felt sick inside because that dream of graduating Clemson together, and watching Dylan play throughout his college career was about to end. I knew, deep down, that I’d still be watching him from a distance because he was destined to make the news and many of the college games would be on TV or streaming… I just wouldn’t have to witness the social agenda that was killing me.
There was a ruckus at the entrance, and I sat up a little straighter and tried to calm my nerves. No doubt, that would be Dylan and one or two of his teammates creating the usual drama as they arrived. I’d asked him to meet me here alone, but one or two would no doubt tag along. I just hoped he’d respect me enough to give me a few minutes to talk uninterrupted.
I was lost in my thoughts, but my head snapped sideways at the sound of his voice.
“Hey, Remi.” Dylan’s greeting or demeanor didn’t indicate that he had any idea that there was anything out of the ordinary. “What’s up?”
My eyes flitted to his friend, Mark, who appeared next to Dylan and then started to slide into the booth by my side. He’d been trying to date me since Welcome Week, but not only was my heart not open, he was Dylan’s roommate and I’d have to suffer the double dates.
“Hi, Remi!” He was handsome, and fit, and smiled brightly; his pleasure at seeing me clear in his expression. It was regretful that he didn’t come close to Dylan in my eyes, even though he was spectacular in his own right. Maybe if I wasn’t in love with my best friend…
I took a deep breath. “Hi… um…” I struggled to figure out how to tell him that I needed to speak to Dylan alone. My eyes shot daggers at Dylan for bringing Mark when he knew I had something important to speak to him about. “Listen…”
Dylan’s deep blue eyes narrowed slightly before he glanced up at his friend. “Dude, would you mind giving Remi and me a minute? I wasn’t supposed to have a tag along.”
I felt my cheeks flush. Now I would be lumped in with the other girls on Dylan’s leash.
Oh, God, I silently lamented and fought not to press my hands to my face.
“What?” Mark looked surprised. “I didn’t think it was like that between you two.”
“It’s not,” Dylan scoffed. “It doesn’t mean we can’t have a private conversation.”
Mark’s face relaxed and he shot me another charming smile. “Oh, sure. I’ll be around,” he said. “Talk to you later, Remi.”
I wondered if my horror at Dylan’s words showed on my face. After Mark left, Dylan slid into the booth across from me. “What’s up? Did you want to eat?” He looked around until he caught the eye of one of the waiters, who was soon delivering menus and another Pepsi.
I was hesitant to tell Dylan what was on my mind. Would he be angry or relieved? “I don’t want to keep you from your friends, so we don’t have to eat.”
“My friends?” Dylan put the menu aside as annoyance settled on his features. “Mark only came because he wanted to hang out with you. When he found out I was meeting you, I couldn’t get rid of him. Trust me, I don’t want to be the segue for him getting into your pants.”