Page 64 of Heart’s Cove Hunks
Fuck the job. Fuck propriety. I’ll quit tomorrow if it means I get to stay with her tonight.
As her heels click on my hardwood floors, her hand hitching her purse higher on her exposed shoulder, I remind myself of all the reasons we can’t be together.
It would be unprofessional. Inappropriate. It could hurt Katie—either by upsetting her or opening her up to teasing. Other parents could get mad about preferential treatment. There would be whispers, questions, rumors. I’d never be taken seriously again.
Trina finally takes a deep breath and turns to face me. “I wasn’t expecting this to happen.”
A dry snort slips through my nose, and I rub the back of my neck just to stop myself from fidgeting. “Me neither.”
She bites her lip, and I fight a groan. I’ve thought of that image of her on her knees in front of me every day since I met her. I barely got any prep work done Sunday night because I couldn’t get her out of my mind. My sheets still smell like her. Even now, when everything in my mind is screaming that we can’t be together, my cock is swelling with every second spent in her presence.
Trina gulps. “Mac,” she starts. “Look. I… It’s been really nice getting to know you, but I don’t think I’m comfortable seeing you while you teach my daughter.”
Even though I agree—even though I’ve spent the whole day convincing myself of the same thing—her words still hit me in the gut. I hide it with a nod. “Yeah. I agree.”
She glances away from me and stares at the wall. “Right.” There’s tension in Trina’s shoulders, in the line of her neck, in the way her hands are clenched together in front of her.
I fucking hate it. I hate seeing her turned away from me. I hate the fact that I can’t wrap my arms around her and tell her to forget it all and be with me.
“Listen, Trina…” I take a deep breath. “I like you.” Understatement of the century. “But…” I grit my teeth, looking for the right words.
“That woman,” Trina cuts in. “Was she the only one?” Her eyes lift to mine.
I nod. “Until you.”
Trina holds my gaze, then lets out a long breath. “So, what do we do?”
A lump lodges itself in my throat. This is the moment where I tell her that up until Monday morning, I could see a future with her for the first time in my life. I could see myself actually wanting to let her in. Opening up. Letting her see all the vulnerable parts of me that have been locked up since I was a child.
But my silence must wear her down, because Trina lets out a bitter huff. “Can we not do this? Can we not dance around it and try to let each other down easy? We’ve known each other a couple of weeks. We had fun. We hooked up. Now it’s over.”
I flinch back. She wouldn’t even give me a few seconds to think of what I’m trying to say? She won’t let me untangle the mess in my mind? Figure out if these feelings are real or not?
She’s just like everyone else. More than ready to walk away from me. Using the first excuse to run.
I grit my teeth and nod. “Yeah. I don’t date students’ parents.” My words are hard, brittle. They taste bitter, but they feel good to say. Like I’m wrapping armor around myself, retreating into the safety of solitude.
I don’t need Trina. I don’t need to open up to anyone. Haven’t I made it on my own? Haven’t I been perfectly happy up until now?
She’s hot, and she was fun to fuck, but that’s as far as it goes with me. Always has been, always will be.
So when I cross my arms and meet Trina’s gaze, my eyes are hard. All my emotions are tamped down, buried deep where they won’t come out to haunt me.
Something flashes in Trina’s eyes. Some lingering sadness, a deep kind of hurt. But it’s gone as quickly as I see it, and she just lifts her chin. “I understand. I won’t waste any more of your time.” She gives me a tight smile, then turns to leave.
It’s the sight of her back that splinters something in my chest. The feeling of sand slipping through my fingers, of a scent on the wind that I can’t quite catch.
I’m losing her.
“Trina,” I start, but stop when I realize I don’t know what to say.
The truth is, letting her leave is the right thing to do. Is she really worth losing my job over? Is she worth throwing away my reputation? All the years I’ve spent on my own, building my life just the way I want it—is Trina worth destroying all I’ve built?
No matter which way I twist the questions around, the only answer is no.
It’s not worth the risk. A relationship with Trina would be messy, and it would end in disaster. Just look at how easily she’s walking away now.
So even though Trina’s eyes are glassy and it fucking kills me to clamp my mouth shut, I know there’s no other choice. She glances at me once more, pinches her lips and gives me a nod, then walks out the door and back to her car.