Page 17 of All Bets are Off
When Logan pushes his thigh between my legs, I rut against it eagerly, tongue diving deep into his mouth.
“West,” Logan says a little shakily when he breaks away. “W-what the hell are we doing?”
Nose to nose, I can only look at him because I don’t know.
Maybe he sees my confusion because his shoulders relax. Looking around, he says, “Let’s go somewhere we can talk.”
****
As soon as we’re in his room with the door closed, Logan turns on me. “I’m not fooling around with you just so you can pretend it never happened.”
I swallow. “Okay. I mean—I don’t want that, either. I think.” I mumble the last two words, but Logan hears them.
“Youthink?” When I stay silent, he continues, “I want you to know I haven’t been drooling over you for years.”
“What?” Maybe my mind is still a little scrambled from that kiss because I’m struggling to keep up.
“Just because I’m bi doesn’t mean I’ve had a thing for you. I haven’t been ogling you every time you’ve undressed. In fact, that dingy underwear you insist on hanging onto until it falls apart is really unappealing.”
“I know all that. Just because you like both women and men doesn’t mean you’re attracted to me.” I lick my lips, considering my next words. “But…when we had that foursome…did you think about it then? About me…and you?”
Shifting toward the glass doors to the balcony, he looks out at the ocean beyond.
“You’re the one who put us together naked in a bed,” he says after a moment.
“I know.”
“What do you want me to say? Admit that I was turned on because you were there?”
“I was. Because you were there.”
Frowning, Logan swivels to look me in the eyes. “What?”
Rubbing my suddenly sweating palms on my shorts, I force the words out, only to find it easier to say the second time. “When we had the foursome, I noticed you. I liked it that you were there. I-I wanted to touch you. It’s why I made the second bet. And that’s when I found out I really enjoy touching you.” I take a step toward him. “Kissing you.”
Logan looks like he isn’t sure what to do with that information, and, suddenly, the awful idea crawls over me that I might have misread him. That he’s really not attracted to me at all. Maybe I just forced that kiss on him outside and he just went along with it. My face heats and I take a step back.
“Are you saying you’ve come to the conclusion you’re into men as well as women?” Logan asks.
“What? No! I’m saying I’ve concluded I’m attracted toyou!” I lower my voice. “Just you. I think. I’m pretty sure. I mean, it doesn’t gross me out thinking about kissing another guy, but right now I don’t want to kiss anyone but you.”
The disbelieving look slowly melts off Logan’s face to be replaced by one of shock. He shakes his head.
“I’m confused.”
“I don’t mean to be confusing. I just want to start being honest with you. And with myself.”
“What about our friendship?” Logan asks, suddenly avoiding my gaze. But his cheeks have reddened, and that gives me hope.
“We can only go forward.”
Silence envelopes us, and with it the fear that Logan doesn’t want this intensifies. Should I have kept all this to myself? Am I ruining everything between us, just like I was afraid would happen?
“It’s okay to feel this way, West,” Logan says softly.
Squeezing my hands into fists, I force back my trepidation and continue with the truth.
“I’ve tried not to think about it. I’ve tried to sleep with women since then. I haven’t been able to do it.” Stepping into his space, I say earnestly, “I’ve only been able to think about you, Logan. Only you.” What is Logan going to say? Is he going to try to let me down easy? Sweat trickles down my neck. Why is it suddenly so damn hot in here?