Page 28 of All Bets are Off
“What?” I must have heard wrong.
“I told her I was in love with a man and that’s why I couldn’t be with her. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing. I just blurted it out after seeing she wasn’t going to accept ‘There’s someone else.’ She’s that type—she would have fought for me, I know it. But if she thought I was gay, well. She couldn’t fight that.” He shrugs.
“Jesus,” I say, staring at him.
“Oh, come on. As if you’ve never lied to anyone.” Sighing, he shakes his head. “Anna was great, but she was too clingy. And too young for me. When she told me she loved me right in the middle of sex, I knew I had to stop it.”
“I told you not to date someone still in college, butno. You were too full of yourself for snagging a college girl to listen.”
“Fuck off,” West mutters. He hates to admit he’s wrong about something. Then he surprises me by laughing.
“What?” I ask.
“I might have realized I was too old for her when she mentioned BTS, and I thought it was a medical condition.”
Laughing with him, I say, “I can’t believe that didn’t make her run for the hills.” I consider everything he’s told me for a moment. “The fact that you don’t like to get too close to people makes sense, when you think about it.”
“Yeah? How so?”
“You’ve been shuffled from home to home, never having a chance to really connect with anyone. When you were old enough to have sex, you probably did it purely for the physical release—anything else would be too scary. And although you’ve formed emotional attachments as an adult, none of them were with people you want to be in a physical relationship with.”
“Well done, Dr. Phil.”
“I’m not wrong.”
“Until now,” West corrects me, and when I frown, he clarifies, “I haven’t formed an emotional attachment with someone I want to be in an emotional relationship withuntil now.” His eyes meet mine, and my heart dances.
I realize something. Like me, West joined the Marines at nineteen and served several years before changing his MOS—Military Occupational Specialty— and training for the Marine Corps Security Forces Regiment, which is where we met. I clearly recall looking across the training grounds and meeting those green eyes. Call it fate, but that moment changed my life. I’ve never had a relationship with anyone like the one I have with West, and although I’ve always known he feels the same, I’ve only recently realized that, with his past, that kind of bond is bound to be even stronger for him. In that light, the fact that West ran away after our first physical encounter isn’t surprising at all. But the fact that he came back to try again with meis. If West finds being with me too much for him, how will he manage to letmedown in the future?
Flicking my tongue over suddenly dry lips, I say, “We don’t have to—uh—continue what we’ve started, you know.”
West’s brow dips. “You don’t want to?”
Before I can answer, he’s moving from his twin bed to mine, forcing me to scoot over to give him some room.
Looking up into his face, so close to him I can smell the remnants of the aftershave he put on over twelve hours ago, I’m a little overwhelmed. “I didn’t say that. I just don’t want you worrying about our relationship.”
“Areyouworried about it?” he asks, holding my gaze.
I shake my head. “I think we can handle whatever’s thrown at us.”
“Then, I’m not worried either.”
West leans in, so gradually that I have time to note the curl of his eyelashes and the serious look on his face before it all blurs and he takes my bottom lip between his, sucking softly until I melt into the mattress. Kissing West is unlike kissing anyone else. I realized this the first time it happened, and every time since has been a fresh reminder.Because I love him.I have for a long time but just never realized it.Opening my mouth, I slide my tongue against his, glooseflesh rising on my skin as West strokes my forearm with his thumb, and our bodies awaken to each other.
The hard muscles underneath my hands and the day’s worth of stubble scraping against my face is in direct contrast to the soft ministrations of the mouth on mine and the gentle way the fingers of West’s left hand cradle my head. My heart clenches as arousal sparks, my body surging upward to push against his thigh draped over my lap. West responds by tightening his fingers in my hair, pulling my head back, and deepening the kiss, his tongue eagerly exploring my mouth, pulling a groan from my throat.
When his lips leave mine to explore the column of my neck, all I can think about is taking this further. Am I really willing to do that? Suddenly realizing how much I want to feel West inside me, I gasp, a shiver running down my spine.
Pushing my T-shirt to the side, West sucks on the juncture of my neck and shoulder. He’s going to leave a mark, but I don’t give a damn. A part of my brain is wondering what he’s thinking, how this feels to him. Is he bothered at all that he’s doing this with a man?
Stop over-analyzing.
The rest of the house is quiet, but in our room heavy breathing and soft groans grow louder and louder as we rotate and thrust rhythmically against each other. When West lets out a particularly loud moan, I cover his mouth with mine to drown out the noise.
We should stop.
There’s no way in hell I can stop. Reaching between us, I palm the bulge in West’s pants before unzipping his fly and taking him out, stroking him hard and fast until his lips falter against mine, tremors running through his body and his breathing becoming uncontrolled.