Page 31 of Out of Reach
Hawk grinned. “You know I love to dance.”
Leaning his head back and closing his eyes against the hot sun, Jude said, “Tell me you didn’t fuck the client.”
“I didn’t fuck the client. Really. I may not always love my job, but I don’t want to lose it. Anyway, assignments like that are few and far between. Usually, I’m trying to keep some stuffed shirt safe from the press or spying on a cheating spouse. But I like it well enough.”
A splash was followed by laughter when someone jumped off the side of the yacht.
After a beat, Hawk said, “I guess you’re pretty excited about going back to modeling.”
Jude nodded. He really was. But something else was niggling at him, and he knew it was that this brief time with Hawk was coming to an end. Why had fate brought the man back into his life when he’d only have to give him up again? It was cruel.
When they’d been a couple, Jude had gotten accustomed to sleeping beside him. It had always been hard when Hawk was deployed, but Jude knew he’d be back, and then being next to him again in bed was a sweet reward. It had been a major change for him when he’d left for New York. For a long while, he lied to himself in order to get to sleep by pretending Hawk was on a mission and would be back soon, but every morning that he woke up alone in an unfamiliar place, the ache in his heart got stronger.
Had that been why Jude had insisted they share a bed in the apartment in Queens? Had he just wanted to experience what he’d missed and would soon lose again, this time forever? He really did worry about Hawk’s back, but he was no saint.
“What’s going through your mind now?” Hawk asked.
“Being alone,” Jude said without thinking, then shrugged. “Sometimes I get lonely. It’s natural, I guess.”
“Is that why you moved in with Prescott?” Hawk asked. “Because you were lonely? He wants you back, you know.”
Choosing to ignore the first part of the question, Jude replied to the second, lowering his voice even though he was sure that their words couldn’t be heard over the wind and chatter of the guests who had joined Sam and Eliza at the bow. “But I don’t want to go back to him. He seems okay with Eliza, anyway.”
Hawk relaxed in his chair. Had he been that concerned that Jude would go back to Sam? Jude supposed if Hawk still thought Sam was a danger to him, he would be.
“I wouldn’t even if I wanted to,” he added. “I’m not stupid, Hawk.”
“I never thought you were stupid,” Hawk said.
“Yeah? Well, you used to like to give me a lot of advice.”
Hawk sighed. “You were so young when we met. I wanted to help you. Later, after you left, I realized what I’d been doing.”
Surprised, Jude stared at him.
“What, did I shock you with my incredible introspection?” Hawk asked, smiling crookedly.
“To be honest, yeah.”
“I guess you walking out on me taught me a thing or two.”
For a moment, they sat watching each other. Jude wished he could see Hawk’s eyes behind the sunglasses, so he could determine his thoughts.
The sun blazed low in the sky. Adjusting the baseball cap he was wearing to keep the rays off his face, Jude let his eyes run over Hawk.
“I didn’t put any lotion on your front. You’re going to burn. You’re getting pink.”
“I’ll be fine, but if you want to rub more lotion on me, I won’t object.” Hawk pushed his glasses up on his head.
“Of course you won’t. Perv.” Picking up the tube of sunblock, Jude moved to sit on the corner of Hawk’s chair and squirted some into his palm. Hawk’s stare was intense as he watched Jude begin smoothing the sunblock over Hawk’s chest, outward toward his broad shoulders in a lulling, rocking motion. His eyes met Hawk’s, and, suddenly, the movements reminded Jude of lazy mornings when he’d ridden Hawk’s cock, making very similar movements to the ones he was making at that moment. When Hawk’s blue gaze fell to Jude’s lips, Jude stopped applying the lotion but didn’t take his hands off Hawk’s hot skin as his eyes raked over him. Small, erect nipples; sparse, silky dark hair sprinkled over hard pecs down to cut abs, ending in a thin trail that disappeared beneath navy swim trunks. Swim trunks that currently were sporting a large tent.
Jumping up, Jude stammered, “I, um…I want a beer. You?”
“Water,” Hawk said, voice hoarse.
Shit,Jude thought as he headed for the cooler.Shit, shit, shit.
CHAPTER TWENTY