Page 49 of Out of Reach
“Yeah. I went to see him last year when I was dealing with some stuff. I could arrange it for you, if you want.”
Pushing the eggs around his plate, Jude said, “I guess I just feel silly. I mean nothing really bad happened to me. So, why am I having so much trouble with it?”
Dex looked at him like he’d grown donkey ears and brayed at the table. “You weredrugged, Jude. Drugged and taken somewhere against your will. Sam held you in a hotel room with a scary guard while taunting you about making you a sex slave in a foreign country. How can you not see that you have every right to feel like you do?”
Jude swallowed. “Well, when you put it like that…”
They both broke into a smile, cutting the tension in the room.
Jude’s first inclination had been to turn down the offer, but what Dex said had changed his mind. He couldn’t go on like he was. His body would give out sooner or later, probably after he succumbed to a nervous breakdown. As much as he didn’t want to talk about what had happened with Sam with a stranger, he evidently needed some professional help.
“Okay. Make an appointment for me,” Jude said. “And thanks.”
“No problem.”
After breakfast, Jude went for a walk on the beach, but he stayed within sight of the mansion. In the back of his mind, Sam was always lurking somewhere close, watching him, even though realistically Jude knew that with the feds onto him, Sam had likely left the country.
But it’s your fault this has happened—at least Sam would see it that way.Jude kept going back to a memory from his time living with Sam. Kevin, one of the beefed-up guys who was a regular guard at the penthouse, had fucked up on the job. At the time, Jude hadn’t thought much about it, except for noting the icy coldness in Sam’s voice when Jude overheard him telling someone over the phone to take care ofthe Kevin situation. Jude had never seen Kevin again after that and had figured Sam had fired him, but there’d been times since then that an insidious feeling crept over him regarding the situation. A feeling laced with self-preserving fear because the longer Jude lived with Sam, the more he got the feeling there was a lot more to him than Jude had thought, and that if Jude were to look too deeply, he might regret it.
He’d wanted to believe he was wrong. Had defended Sam to Hawk. But now that Sam’s true nature had been proved to him emphatically, Jude could no longer ignore it, and it haunted his thoughts and his dreams. Sam knew where Hawk worked, and he had far-reaching connections. If he really wanted Jude to disappear, he’d make it happen whether it be this year, the next, or years from now. Jude would never know when the hammer was going to fall. And the fact that Jude could see the worry in Hawk’s eyes, even though he tried to hide it, made it even worse.
He stopped dead in his tracks, fear gripping him with cold, unyielding fingers, tripling his heart rate. When a sudden wave of wooziness overcame him, Jude bent over, hands on his knees, and took some deep breaths. Passing out on the beach wasnothappening. When he felt marginally better, he found a dry patch of sand and sat, face turned to the morning sun.
His phone vibrated in his jacket pocket, sending his heartbeat flying again, even though he knew it wasn’t Sam. Hawk had made sure Jude assigned Sam a certain ringtone long ago.
“Hello?” he answered, relieved to see Hawk’s name on the screen.
“Hey. Are you okay? You sound weird.”
“Yeah, I’m good. I just went for a walk.”
“I woke up and you were gone.”
Jude could tell Hawk was suppressing his concern.
“Well, just because I couldn’t sleep didn’t mean you shouldn’t. You have to work tonight.”
“Don’t go too far.”
“I won’t. I can still see the house. Be back soon.”
Getting to his feet and brushing the sand off his ass, Jude walked back toward the mansion. He hated this part of the walk, when his back was turned to the open area behind him where there were motels and access to the beach from the road. Someone could come at him and he wouldn’t hear it over the wind and cries of the gulls. Spine rigid and probably looking like he was marching to his grave rather than taking a leisurely walk on the beach, he made his way back to the mansion, very aware that he’d never be able to relax entirely until Sam was behind bars.
Which meant his life was on hold indefinitely.
Tears were prickling his eyes by the time he reached the backyard, and it wasn’t only from the wind. A group of security agents were running the obstacle course, and Jude spotted Hawk among them, knees rising high as he maneuvered through the double row of tires before pulling himself up to the bars over the mud pit. He moved with ease, like he was participating in a playground game rather than a highly difficult physical exercise, and Jude couldn’t help but admire his long, muscular legs in the shorts he was wearing or the way the muscles in his arms and bare back bunched up as he swung across the mud pit.
Jude waited for him at the end of the course.
“Hey. Nice walk?” Hawk asked, wiping the sweat from his face with the towel Jude handed him. Sweat ran down his chest, making the dark hair on it glisten. Jude was suddenly hit with a wave of lust so strong, he stumbled as they started walking toward the patio. Hawk’s hand shot out to steady him, and the touch was an electric jolt of need straight to Jude’s balls.
“You okay?” Hawk asked, frowning. Jude didn’t know what look he wore on his face, but when Hawk looked at him, his nostrils flared and his eyes dilated, obscuring most of the blue irises. “Jude?” Hawk said, husky and low.
To his embarrassment, a low moan escaped his lips. He could smell Hawk’s sweat, salty and manly, and desire pooled in his stomach, bringing his cock to full hardness.
Gripping Jude’s arm tightly, Hawk guided him inside. Jude could have cried with relief when he took him into Jude’s bedroom.
Jude stood by the door, breathing as though he’d run a race, watching Hawk’s every move as he shut and locked the door.