Page 38 of The Sweetest Note
“Yeah, cause I haven’t,” I mutter under my breath, taking another bite of my meal.
For hospital food, it’s actually really good. Though, if Mrs. Williams is here, this place is definitely privately funded. Everything is much too clean to be anything less.
“When did you get here?” Derek’s mom asks softly, taking a small bite of her own chicken.
“I couldn’t tell you,” I respond, with a small shrug. “Long enough to miss what the sun and clouds look like. My days meld into the other, everything hurts, and I have no concept of time.”
Damn. Stuffing another bite of food in my mouth, I wonder if it’s drugged with truth serum. Though, the truth is, I’m starving for attention.
“Lennon,” Mrs. Williams says my name and I jump. Looking at her, my eyes start to fill with tears and I shake my head.
“I can’t,” I whisper, shaking my head as tears overflow. “It’s bad, but I can’t tell you. Please don’t ask. Ask me how your son is. I’ll tell you about the amazing man you raised, how we managed to find each other after all of these years. I can tell you that if you promise not to tell anyone.”
My lip trembles as I stare at her and she covers my hand. “I’m glad you found each other. I never knew why he disliked you,” she says softly.
A memory teases at my mind and I wince. “I can’t remember right now, but it was for a good reason,” I tell her honestly.
Mrs. Williams nods. “Please keep eating, they’re staring.”
Nodding, I hurriedly take another bite. We sit in silence as we eat, and when Nurse Imelda comes to take me away, Mrs. Williams whispers, “Please take care.”
I wish I had the ability to say‘I promise,’but I can’t. I don’t know if I’ll be alive another hour, days, or months. I have absolutely no control over what happens to me, so all I can do is look sadly at her and nod.
11
DEREK
My father looks smug as he watches me come upstairs from the basement in a suit. I have no idea what the plan is for these ‘wayward’ constituents, so I dressed up. Brain or brawn, I feel like I need to be ready for either, though the idea of beating someone into changing their vote would make me feel queasy if I had any kind of conscience.
Don’t get me wrong, it exists, mostly because my mother instilled it in me, but I’ve stuffed it so far down, it’s barely a whisper. Cracking my neck to relieve a bit of the pressure, I follow my father out of the house.
“We can’t be late,” my father says, his arm waving me towards the car. “I am taking you to the first meeting, and then you’ll be taking over with Orion. You can handle this, right?”
My father watches me over the roof of the car and I smooth away the frown threatening to form. “How hard can it be?” I ask with a shrug. “I’m great at negotiating, unless there’s something you haven’t told me?”
My father smirks, getting into the car. Breathing deeply, my finger twitches, the only sign this man is getting to me. Opening the car door, I fold myself in. This car is way too damn small for my body.
“Are you done fucking around?” he asks, and I slowly reach over to buckle up. If he’s gonna be an asshole about this, so can I. My father scoffs, turning on the car.
“Don’t be a dick,” I tell him, moving in real time again as I make sure the door is closed. “I’m cooperating, I’m in the car, stop with the secrecy. All it’s going to do is ensure I fail whatever test you have set up. Is that your end goal?”
Frowning, he grits his teeth as he puts the car in drive. Moving down the driveway, he shakes his head. “No. I dislike releasing control, and giving you any kind of information feels as if I am. However, you’re going to be with Drew’s kid today, and he’s going to want to talk if you’re accompanying him today. So I may as well tell you,” my father grumbles.
I noticed Orion was struggling to keep from saying anything the other day at dinner, mostly because he didn’t know what I already knew. When everyone isn’t on the same page, things slip through. In some ways, this is to my benefit if I can get Orion to talk to me, but I need the information my father has more right now.
Swallowing, I wait. Silence is a wonderful weapon against my father. It’s one he uses on others, but makes him nervous when I do it. I guess he thinks I’m plotting against him when I’m too quiet, and he’s not wrong.
“The people you’re meeting with today are laying obstacles at my feet out of selfishness,” my father begins.He should talk. Everything about this campaign is led from selfishness, not service.“One of them is the head of a pharmaceutical company, and human trials are a lengthy process.”
My stomach drops at his words. People aren’t guinea pigs! “Sherman wants Xav to use his experimental medication on our special patients so he can get them approved sooner. Typically, I wouldn’t have a problem with using our private practice patients as guinea pigs, however Sherman is trying to strong arm me into making a decision in his favor,” he explains.
I purse my lips as I listen to his words. “You don’t bend and we don’t negotiate with bullies,” I respond immediately. Dad has said this to me so many times growing up, it’s a mantra. We hit back harder, stand stronger, and convince others our way is the smarter way. I don’t even have to think twice about my response, knowing my father is happy with it when he chuckles.
“Exactly, son. So Sherman needs to be dealt with. Another person we are meeting with doesn’t believe politics should manipulate mental health policies. While I understand his idea, he’s just a dick who needs control of everything that happens in this damn state. I also really don’t like the prick, so I’ll enjoy watching you bring him to our way of thinking,” my father gloats. Whoever this person is, has made things personal. I well remember my father’s ‘personal’ lessons, because they usually involved his fists.
Why do I get the feeling my father expects me to be his enforcer?
I force the bubble of unease to dissipate, pushing the chill of indifference through my veins.Whatever it takesis my new mantra. I don’t care who I am at the end of this journey, as long as Len is standing alive. My only hope is that Xav and my father haven’t broken her too much by this point.