Page 12 of Broken
Elliot
The bass pumping through the speakers pulses in my body as I move to the music. Alcohol and cocaine flowing through me and most of the crowd in this nightclub. It’s my escape just like everyone else who indulges. A way to hide from the real world, to get lost in the false narrative that’s a happier place. No pain or past or trauma. Just this moment.
A warm, strong body presses against my back as a husky voice hollers in my ear over the music. “Bathroom, five minutes.”
Colin. He’s one of the safe ones. Sort of.
We’ve fucked more times than I can count, and he’s discreet while not becoming a stage-five clinger. All the boxes are checked, and I’m able to get my rocks off. If only he liked it when I wore a skirt. I love short skirts and sexy panties, but I can’t wear that here, in the open.
I lift the beer bottle in my hand to my lips and take a drink, a secret code we’ve developed over the years that lets him know I heard him.
Not long after Asher disappeared and Marcus was buried, I stopped hiding who I was from the public. I’m more lenient about what I wear, dressing more feminine with lace and pearls, but skirts stay inside, and no one has seen them besides Jordan. I wear what I want, when I want, am seen with who I want to be seen with, and fuck the media. Now I make a scene when I go out just for the hell of it. Dance on tables, fuck up hotel rooms, I don’t care. Nothing matters. I’m unloved and I have no one left to disappoint, so who cares what I do?
I stumble my way toward the bathroom and trip over my own feet when I push the door open, but Colin is there and catches me, so I don’t face-plant on the disgusting floor. My skin hums with my high, tingly and warm and happy.
“You’re a mess tonight,” Colin says with a chastising tone, but my addled brain isn’t offended.
“Make me a bigger mess.” I rub myself against him like a cat in heat. It’s not far from the truth. Cocaine makes me horny, makes me hungry for an orgasm, but I can already feel the crash coming. The apathy of not being fulfilled by the life I’ve been living tinging the edges of my high.
“Jesus.” He grabs my arm and pulls me back into the hallway and out into the alleyway behind the club. My back hits the brick wall, and Colin’s lips brush against my neck. I reach for his head and try to pull his mouth to mine, but he dodges me. I love kisses, and he knows it, but he’s an asshole and doesn’t give them to me.
His hands are on my too tight jeans, pulling them open and shoving them down. I’m on the verge of coming already just from the hum of the drugs and the way he manhandles me.
This is what I need. To be used. For a few minutes I’m wanted. There’s no one in my life that needs me for anything else. I’m the “throw away friend” or the “after-thought friend”. No one cares what I’m doing or where I go, no one except the media, that is. They love to post pictures and videos of me stumbling out of clubs, grabbing lunch by my-fucking-self, and contemplating why I’m not dating. Don’t they get it? I’m not worth dating.
Colin spins me, and my face hits the brick since my reflexes are shit. He chuckles and steps in close, sliding his fingers between my ass cheeks and finding my hole already lubed.
“You’re such a little whore,” he growls in my ear with his hand around my throat. “Did you already get fucked tonight?”
I whimper as I shake my head.
“Hmm. You prepped for me?” I can feel his lips smiling against my skin as he slides two fingers into me, thrusting a few times before he drags his cock between my cheeks.
“Yessss,” I hiss as he pushes in, one of his hands gripping my hip. A shudder makes my body tremble, and I reach for my dick.
“You’re such a slut.” Colin fucks me quickly, needing to get us out of this alley sooner rather than later and not wanting to spend more time with me than he needs to get off.
Colin grunts in my ear, and his thrusts speed up. I jerk myself faster, coming with a tremor, and spray my orgasm on the brick. My ass clenches around him, and he comes with a muffled moan. His mouth is suctioned to my neck, and I sag in his arms, just wanting to be held for a few minutes longer, but he pulls out and zips up. I lean heavily against the wall and pull my clothes back on correctly, watching him walk away without a backward glance. He never gives me a second glance.
Why do I keep doing this?
It takes longer than it should to get my pants buttoned, but somehow, I manage it and shuffle my way out of the alley to get an Uber.
“Elliot!” My bodyguard, Ian, catches my arm and pulls me back into the alley. “What the fuck? I can’t protect you if you disappear on me.”
“I don’t need a babysitter!” I shove at him, but the wall of muscle doesn’t budge. Bastard. “My parents pay you to keep me out of trouble, not to protect me! Fuck off!”
“Jesus. You’re wasted already, and it’s not even midnight.” The brute of a man scrubs a hand down his face, pulls his phone from his pocket, and types out a message.
Tears fill my eyes, but he ignores them. That’s fine. I don’t really want him to acknowledge my weakness anyway.
“It’s time to go home,” he says in a tone that means business. Luckily for him, I just want to go home, so I don’t fight him. A black car appears on the street next to us, and he ushers me inside. The warm, tan leather surrounds me, and I wish I could fall asleep, but the high of the drugs means I can’t. Not yet.
“Your parents are going to cut you off. You realize that, right?” Ian says from the front passenger seat. The driver looks in the rearview mirror, his eyes meeting mine for just a minute. I think he’s driven me before, but I don’t care enough to figure it out. I have zero direction in my life. No plans or ideas of what I want to do when I grow up. Honestly, I don’t know that I will live that long.
“Like you give a shit.” The words tumble from my lips as the car starts moving.
“I do give a shit. Not only is it my job to care, but I’m also a half-decent person.” He looks at the door I’m sitting next to. “Hydrate.”