Page 36 of Broken
By the time I get out of the shower, my skin is pruney and the mirror is fogged up. Once again, I forgot to grab clothes, so I wrap a towel around me and peek out into the room. Asher is passed out on the bed. Thank fuck.
I dig through my pile of dirty clothes and find some shorts, then in the drawers for everything else.
I’m dressed quickly, grab my camera, phone, and wristband, then head out. We need space from each other. At least, I do. I can’t remember why being close to him is a bad idea when he’s in my face.
I find the poster about the waterfall and read the directions on how to get there. There’s a trail marker off the east side of the building that will point me in the right direction. Perfect. I grab a water bottle from the fridge in the lobby and one of those drawstring backpacks with the resort’s logo on it, then head out.
I feel like an asshole for running from Asher, again, but at this point I have to do what I have to in order to survive. I can’t deal with him right now; I need to clear the fog from my brain.
An idea hits me when I see the pier with the bar on it, and I head that way instead. It’s starting to get busy out here, so I won’t keep Holden long, but I do have a question for him.
“Hey, legs.” He smirks at me with a head nod when he sees me.
“Hey.” I flush, remembering Asher’s reaction to the skirt I was wearing when I met Holden. I lean onto the bar so I can talk quietly, and he does the same. “A little drunk bird told me you sell weed.”
A conspiratorial look enters his eye, and he wags his eyebrow at me. “It’s true.”
“Any chance you makespecialdesserts to sell as well?” I ask in mock innocence.
He winks at me. “I may have some brownies on hand.”
I gasp. “That sounds amazing.”
He looks around quickly, then digs in a bag behind the counter. I pay the man and shove the brownie in the backpack with the water and film. I thank him and head back to the trail.
It’s truly like being in a different world. It’s so lush and green. The sounds of the water and birds the only noises here. The lack of traffic, honking, and buses is so foreign, like being on a different planet. Everything here is so peaceful. Why do I live in a big city again? This is much better.
I snap a few pictures along the hike to the waterfall. Glimpses of the ocean through the trees or a beautiful flower. I get a few birds, but I’m not sure what they are since they aren’t my thing. As I go, I find the little river that must be coming from the waterfall, the trickling water mixing with the waves and birds.
The last six years, I’ve felt completely alone, but it was dark and miserable. Jordan had to force me out of my apartment sometimes just so the sun would touch my skin. But right now, I’m so distracted by what’s around me that I’m not lonely. It’s an experience, and even though all of my problems are still waiting in my room and I will have to face a pissed-off Asher when I get back, I’m enjoying this. When was the last time I enjoyed anything? Really enjoyed it, not just tolerated it to get a basic need met. I don’t know. How sad is that?
I pull my phone from my pocket and take a selfie to send to Jordan.
ELLIOT: #boyinnature #exercise #lookatmenow
JORDAN: I love your face.
I smile and put the phone back in my pocket.
The hike isn’t too hard; it’s mostly uphill but not steep. I’m sweaty and breathing hard by the time I reach the clearing with the pool. I sit by the edge and kick off my shoes to put my feet in the water while I drink from the water bottle. This waterfall isn’t a defined cliff you can jump from, but there’s some boulders you can jump from into the water.
After a few minutes. I grab my camera and take a few pictures of the waterfall from a few different angles. I strip off my shirt and wade into the water and climb on some boulders to get better shots.
Once I’ve filled the roll, I put the camera in my bag and climb back onto a big boulder. The rough texture of the rock scratches at the soft parts of my feet. I stare at the water for a few minutes, both wanting to jump and afraid to. Back when I was growing up, we made a pact to never jump if there were less than three of us. If someone needed help, one would stay with them and one would call an adult or 911. Out here, I’m alone, and I have no idea how long it would be until someone came across me. I could break a leg and be out here for hours. Maybe days.
How long before Asher would come looking for me? I’m almost positive he already is.
Sucking in a deep breath, I take a few steps back, then run. As I’m about to launch from the stone, someone yells, and I stumble. I scrape my arm on something in the water as I plunge under the surface. I’m still under the water when someone crashes into the water not far from me. They’re yelling something, but I can’t hear through the water in my ears. Kicking hard for the surface, my head is barely in the air when I’m grabbed and suffocated against Asher’s trembling body.
“Marcus!” he yells, anguish dripping from the name as he holds me so tight it’s hard to breathe. “I’m so fucking sorry.” He’s dragging me toward the shore before I can wrap my head around what is happening.
“Asher.” I try to get his attention, but he doesn’t stop pulling me toward the shallow end of the pool. “Asher, stop, I’m fine.”
Asher breaks, falling to his knees and taking me with him. I end up on his lap with my arms around his shoulders as he cries, sobbing into my neck. “I should have told you about Eli. I’m so sorry. Come back, please.”
A knot forms in my throat as the words ramble from him and realization sinks into me. These words are not meant for me but for my brother who never got to hear them. His body shakes, and he’s rocking us back and forth, desperate and full of grief which he obviously hasn’t dealt with.
“Don’t leave him. He needs you. Please, Marcus, I’m sorry.”