Page 10 of Because of Blake
“Three years ago.”
She places her hand on my knee, and I brace myself for the onslaught of pity-filled words about to stream from her mouth. “That’s been a long time. Though, I know it probably doesn’t seem like it.” She removes her hand and pours herself another cup. “You know, if you’re interested, Mark has some co-workers who are single.”
Not what I expected, but not any better.“Thank you, but no. I don’t date anymore.” I raise my head to meet Joanna’s gaze, expecting to see disappointment, but instead, I find her brow furrowed in contemplation.
“Why not?”
“I, uh, haven’t had any luck the few times I’ve tried.”
“Maybe you haven’t found the right guy.”
I clench my jaw. I found the right guy sixteen years ago.“It’s also exhausting.”
“Well, what about someone in the neighborhood. Blake Averson in the cul-de-sac is single, and he’s right down the street.”
My stomach flutters. “What? Joanna, no. Blake is a neighbor, that’s all.”
Joanna smiles slyly. “Now, Maggie, there’s no need to be embarrassed. I may be forty-five years old and married, but I’m not blind. Blake Averson is a bonafide catch. I’ve known him for years.”
“You have?”
“Yes. He and Mark hang out a few times a month, playing pool or watching some sport on TV.” She rolls her eyes before fixing them on mine. “But men like Blake don’t stay single for long. You’d better snatch him up quick.”
Is she saying Blake is a player? I should’ve known with his looks.I sigh. “Joanna, I’m not trying to snatch him up. He’s too young for me, anyway.”
“This isn’t high school, Maggie. Blake turned twenty-eight in June, plenty old enough.”
He’s only twenty-eight? Great, even younger than I thought.I shake my head.“Like I said, I don’t date anymore, and even if I did, I wouldn’t start with my neighbor.”
“I just wanted you to know there are options out there.”
Indignation flares in me, and I set my mug down on the table rather roughly, the porcelain clattering against the glass tabletop. “Thank you, but I’d appreciate it if you left my personal life to me.” I stand abruptly and run my hands down my thighs. “I really should be going. Thank you for the coffee.”
Joanna opens her mouth to protest, but must be able to read my irritation, because she zips her lips and walks me to the door. We exchange pleasant, albeit forced “goodbyes” before I turn and walk away. Maybe I should feel bad about being so curt. She was only trying to help, I’m sure, but it was unsolicited advice and an intrusion on my personal life. I’m certainly not going to hold it against her, but I won’t be seeking out Joanna for any more coffee dates.
Chapter four
Threeweekslater,Sydney’sbirthday arrives. Her best friend, Kelsey, spends the night and the two of them stay up way too late having a Harry Potter movie marathon and doing each other’s makeup. They talk and giggle and eat snacks, as shown by the aftermath of wrappers in my living room.
They have fun, though, and that’s what matters. After last week when Sydney told me she thinks all the girls at school hate her, my mom heart sank. Middle school is rough enough without the added stress of not having any friends, so I’m glad she was at least able to have fun with Kelsey.
Sunday afternoon, the girls run out of movies, so they switch to experimenting with more makeup. Dylan escapes into the basement, and as much as I’d love to see myself in bright pink eye shadow and mauve lipstick, I don’t think I can handle another giggle fest. I haven’t been able to work out the last two mornings, so I decide to go for a run. It takes a lot of breathing and a round of my grounding practice to convince myself the kids will be fine for a half hour, but I manage to quell my anxiety enough to head out the door.
After all, I have my phone and I’m only making laps around the block.
Late September is still warm in Colorado, though not as nice as August, so I slip into a pair of Lululemon leggings and a racer-back tank top. After one lap, I text Sydney to see how they’re doing. She responds with an eye roll emoji and confirms they’re fine, so I keep going.
In the middle of my fifth lap, my phone dings and my heart leaps into my throat. I hop under the shade of a tree, frantically tapping my phone screen to see what emergency is happening at my house.
They tried to cook something and lit the house on fire. Someone tripped down the stairs and cracked their head open. Dylan snuck some candy and is choking.
A hundred worst-case scenarios play out in my head as I try not to hyperventilate. When I get my messages open, I all but pass out.
SYDNEY:Can Kelsey stay for dinner?
I sag against the tree trunk and clamp my hand over my mouth, shutting my eyes tight. I’m so close to vomiting right now it’s not funny. In all the years I’ve been a mother, I’ve never been able to not think the worst will happen, and it’s only been intensified by Charlie’s death.
“Maggie? Are you okay?”