Page 109 of Because of Blake

“You and Tom should’ve had kids. Then you wouldn’t have to use mine.” I laugh, because Michelle knew in her early twenties she didn’t want to be a mom. She likes kids, but she knew it wasn’t what she wanted with her life.

“Yeah, but then I wouldn’t be able to give them back.” She pauses a moment, letting the humor in the conversation pass. “And B: I want you to be able to do what you want this weekend. If that’s staying inside and drowning in pizza and wine, then so be it. If it’s being with Blake and drowning in him, even better.”

I bite my lip. That doesn’t sound half bad. “What if I wanted to be with my kids?”

“Listen, Maggie. I know those kids are your everything, your heart and soul, and you love them more than life itself, but everyone needs a break from their fucking kids every now and then.”

“You make a good point. Okay, I accept. And thank you.”

“Of course. I’ll text you when I leave work.”

I hang up and my head is swirling with options. I have an entire kid-free weekend. This happens… never. I have so many ideas of what I could do with my time, but I decide it’s best to wait until tomorrow to see how I’m feeling before deciding.

The next morning, after breakfast, I tell Sydney and Dylan the plans and they both light up at the idea of spending the weekend with Aunt Michelle. It has been ages since they did this, and even though Sydney tries to hide it, she’s as excited as Dylan. I have to practically beg them not to pack their things before sending them off to school.

My day goes by smoothly. No intrusive thoughts. No negativity. Just me and my quiet house. My only anxiety is centered around whether to tell Blake about Michelle’s offer. Normally, yes, I’d tell him right away so we can spend every second of the weekend together. But this weekend will be different. Tomorrow is… Well, tomorrow is the most difficult day of the year, and I don’t know what is best for me.

Every year prior to this one, I’ve been alone. My kids may or may not be in the house with me, but I’m holed up in my room, usually crying my eyes out. But this year feels completely different, and I have Blake to thank for it.

I should use this time to thank him… properly.

A smile overtakes my face and I grab my phone. As I do, a message comes through, my phone dinging with the now endearing chime, letting me know Blake is thinking of me.

BLAKE:Hey. This is your everyday check in message. How you doing?

ME:I’m doing fine. It’s been a good day.

BLAKE:Good to hear. Need anything?

ME:No. But I do have something for you.

BLAKE:Me? Go on I’m listening.

ME:Michelle gifted me a kid-free weekend and I thought what better way to spend it than in the arms of my favorite man.

BLAKE:So, where do I come in?

ME:Ha. Ha.

BLAKE:Lol. Sounds awesome. Are you sure?

ME:Of course. But I want to spend the weekend at your house. Ok?

BLAKE:Whatever you need.

ME:I need to get out of the house and waking up with you will make it better.

BLAKE:Ok, sounds good. I’ll let you know when I’m home and showered.

ME:Thx.

I spend the next few hours getting ready. I take a long shower, making sure to shave every inch of myself. I take the time to do my full makeup, something I don’t do very often and certainly not to this degree. The only time Blake has seen my full face is at the handful of parties we’ve been to. My hair is not only washed, but it’s also curled so it falls softly around my shoulders.

I won’t change clothes until after the kids are gone, but I’ve got my outfit planned. A baby blue top with split sleeves so my arms are exposed, but it hugs my middle, and paired with my favorite skinny jeans, my curves are accentuated perfectly. My shoes are tan flats, because although heels would make this outfit better, I’m not walking to Blake’s in those.

The kids come home and tell me about their day over an afternoon snack. We get to spend a decent amount of time together before Michelle texts me she’s on her way. The only instance she leaves work on time. Dylan all but runs to the window to watch for her, even though it’s going to be a good thirty minutes.

I laugh and shake my head, lifting it to meet Sydney’s gaze. She’s smiling at me. “What?”