Page 27 of Because of Blake
The week of… the big event, I completely shut myself in. I don’t go out to check the mail, or water my plants, or even pick up whatever package is sitting on my porch. I stay in bed for the most part, only coming out of my room to eat, or to take care of my children’s needs.
As I lie in bed, wallowing in sorrow, I hear a dog bark and my mind flicks to Blake. I don’t intend to, but suddenly, all I can think about is him and a lightness flutters into my chest. I miss our conversations. While I normally hate small talk, our chats about the weather or local news always feel different. I don’t itch to get away from him. His presence seems to ground me, and right now, it’s exactly what I need.
And if I’m being honest, I miss the way he looks at me. The way my name sounds on his lips. He’s handsome and sweet and I’m flattered to have his attention. My heart speeds up as I picture the way his mouth curves when he smiles.
Does this mean I’m ready to date again?
My heart sinks. Even if I am, I closed the door on us. I rejected Blake. He’s probably found someone else by now. Even Joanna said it last year; men like him don’t stay single for long. I’ve missed my chance.
The heaviness of guilt sets in as I realize I’m spending my late husband’s death anniversary thinking of another man. Shame on me. My thoughts need to be with Charlie and remembering him right now. Not with frivolous fantasies of a younger guy.
On Friday the 26th, I’m feeling good enough to sit on the porch while I wait for the kids to get home. It’s their last day of school and it’s my duty as a mom to greet them. As I’m waiting, Blake is, of course, walking Oscar. I hadn’t expected to see him in the middle of the afternoon, but I can’t say I’m disappointed.
My heart races at the sight of him. Those broad shoulders, that tapered waist. Even his legs are toned. How can calves be sexy?
He casually strolls up my driveway and stops at my porch steps, his normal conversation spot. “Hey, Maggie. How are you? Long time, no see.” The gravity of his tone is only enhanced by the sympathetic look on his face as he scratches at what I can only describe as his summer beard.
“Hi, Blake. I’ve had a rough few weeks, but I’m doing much better, thank you.”
“Rough weeks? Anything I can help with?”
I shake my head. “It’s all over and done.”
His eyes narrow a moment as he scrutinizes my answer. “Good to hear. You had me worried for a while there.”
He was worried about me? Butterflies race through me, but I swallow them down. “Everything is fine. No need to worry.”
The concern on his face lessens, but his shoulders remain tense.
“How are you doing? Still have the beard, I see.”
“Ha, yeah.” He runs his hand along his jaw. “I had to trim it shorter for the summer. Does it still look good?”
“Mhm.” It looks so good, I don’t think I could form words if I tried.
His lips curve into his signature smile as he golds my gaze, but he blinks his way out of the trance and clears his throat. “I’ve been good, though. Nothing new and exciting. Work’s been steady, so I guess I’m thankful for that.”
Wish I could say the same.
“Something wrong at work?”
I blink at Blake, furrowing my brow in utter confusion as to how he read my mind.
“You said something about wishing work was steady.”
Crap. I said it out loud. With a pinched expression, I say, “Oh, yeah, just a misunderstanding with a coworker.”
He flicks his gaze to Oscar who’s lounging in the yard, apparently exhausted from their walk. Blake steps onto the porch, taking a seat on the top step a few inches away from the edge of my chair. “Are you sure everything is okay?”
I sigh. How this man reads me so well is beyond me. I raise my gaze to the sky a moment before answering. “There was an incident where someone said something pretty rude and, because my emotions were already running high, I may...have...slapped her.”
“You slapped someone!?” Blake’s eyelids peel back. “You? Sweet little Maggie Hansen?”
My cheeks tinge pink as I shrug. “I’m not always so sweet.”
“Remind me to never get on your bad side. Though, I’ve looked and I haven’t seen one.”
I let out an airy chuckle and drop my gaze to my lap. “It doesn’t come out often.” My eyes tentatively raise to meet Blake’s. Instead of the judgment I’m expecting, all I see is understanding in his deep chocolate irises and, suddenly, all my tension melts away.