Page 51 of Because of Blake
“Well, two reasons.” I prop myself up onto my elbows to be eye level with him. “One, I want you to know you don’t have to pull out. Not that it’s an effective birth control method in the first place. And two” –I take a deep breath– “because, I don’t want it to be an issue down the road. I need you to know now I can’t have kids, so if that’s something you want, then you and I can’t–”
Blake grabs my shoulder and squeezes. “Maggie, look. I really appreciate you telling me. It does ease my mind knowing my lack of responsibility in the prophylactic area won’t turn into a sticky situation.”
“It’s turned into a sticky situation a couple times now,” I say, nodding down at my stomach and laughing.
Blake lets out a light chuckle, running his fingers down my arm. “Touche. But this is a heavy conversation to have right now. It’s a little soon, don’t you think?”
“It is, I know. But, this is the closest I’ve been to anyone in the last three years, and I need to know if me not being able to have kids is going to be a problem before we get too involved.”
“That’s fair. Okay, how about this? I promise to keep this information in my mind and give it some real thought. Then later, when this” –he moves his hand back and forth between us– “becomes serious, we’ll have a healthy conversation about it.”
Whenit becomes serious? Not if? “Deal.”
The tension in the air lifts, and we both exhale. I hadn’t planned on having such a heavy conversation so soon, but it just came out. I knew I wanted to get the information out in the open, and honestly, I thought it was going to be much tougher. Blake has a way of easing me, which seems to come effortlessly for him. It’s liberating, in a way.
Blake’s hand lowers to my hip, his fingers making circles and giving me goosebumps. “So, what do you want to do today?”
“Whatever you want.”
Blake scowls. “Maggie, I asked whatyouwant to do. I’m guessing you don’t get asked that very often, especially with two kids. I can’t imagine they ever come to you, begging to do something you want to.”
“No. They don’t, but Michelle always asks what I want to do. We usually end up doing what she wants, but she always asks.”
Blake laughs and shakes his head. “Alright. If you could do anything you wanted right now, what would it be? Money is no object, time is no issue, and there are no consequences to your actions. What’s the first thing that comes to mind?”
I don’t even hesitate. “Take a nap.”
Blake laughs heartily. “What? A nap, that’s all?”
I turn onto my side and look Blake in the eye. “I never take naps. Not even when the kids were little and took their naps. I’ve always done something. Cleaned, read, worked out, I never rested unless I had to.”
“Okay, nap it is then. Scoot over.” Blake pulls the blankets up, letting them gently settle over our bodies. He pushes me to my side and cuddles up behind me so my back is against his chest. He’s so warm.
“Blake, you really don’t have to–”
“Shhh. Go to sleep. I’m right where I want to be.”
I wake sometime later to find Blake still nuzzled against me. I have no idea how long we’ve been asleep. I can’t see the clock from here, and if I turn to look, I’ll most certainly disturb him. His breathing is so calm and rhythmic, I can’t bear the thought of waking him. I’ll lie here until he wakes up. But I want to look at him.
The last day has been incredible.He’sbeen incredible. Almost too good to be true. He’s been caring, affectionate, charming, not to mention, a generous lover. What else could a girl ask for?
Torn in my decision to satisfy my visual desire and let my sleeping prince rest, I twiddle my toes.
“Will you stop thinking so loud?” Blake groans.
Crap, did I say something? “What?”
His deep chuckle rumbles from his chest and right through me. “You’re moving your toes around. I’ve noticed you do it a lot when you’re nervous.”
“I’m not nervous,” I lie. “And when have you seen me do it?”
“Any time we’ve talked on your porch when the weather’s nice. You never wear shoes when you sit outside to read. The pool a few weeks ago. Also, when we went to Home Depot and you had flip flops on.”
“Okay, okay. I get it, you’re observant.” I turn myself to face him and our noses barely touch.
“Hello, beautiful.” He kisses me gently. “How long have you been awake?”
“Not long. A few minutes, maybe. I can’t see the clock so I really don’t know.”