Page 71 of Bleeding Heart
I know I’m the one who has to break the stifling silence, and I pull the top paper out of the folder I’ve kept Greer’s shower details in.
“The lease on the adjacent storefront is up for renewal and the shop owners have decided they’re moving to a larger location. What would you think if I took over the space?” I slide a draft logo of my boutique’s paisley symbol in a yin and yan formation toward Sloan.
“I like the pinks and blues. The hue matches the boutique’s coral. They’re a little spermy looking separated like that. Maybe move them closer, so they touch? They sort of resemble amoebas in a Petri dish like this. Wait!… Is this a baby boutique?” Sloan blinks.
“I don’t have a catchy name for it yet. It’s just an idea.” I bite the inside of my cheek.
“A brilliant one. So many friends are having babies. You should totally go for it.” While Sloan’s words are encouraging, she inspects the lid on her coffee.
“Are you sure?” What I’m desperate to shout is, “Jake’s moved on, why can’t I?”
Because I’m trying. I really am.
I’m still supporting as many local businesses as I can. My mom and I keep an open dialogue about my dad’s choice to keep my abortion from her and how it affects her perception of their marriage after the fact because she assumed they told one another everything. Her support after my surgery has strengthened our bond, and we’ve gotten closer.
During a normal week, I’m not just going out to yoga with Greer, we’re often invited to the mill girls’ events. I’ve made new friends. But even if I go to bed at night completely fulfilled, I wake up the next morning to Jake cutting down all that progress when I stumble over the stupid bouquets he’s left on my doorstep for months.
After what he continues to put me through, I wouldn’t accept Jake’s apology anymore if I met him on the street. I don’t want to see Jake and that’s why I don’t confront him face to face. Even now, it feels like Jake is taking advantage and I can’t be as happy for Kelsey as I should be. I’m not normally the sort who seeks credit. However, the big jerk,the pompous ass, hired Julian when finding help for Kelsey was my idea.
I wish he’d crawl back under whatever rock he was hiding beneath.
It’s obvious I’m still a pawn in his game. I’m trying to face the day he decides to use what I can do for him again with courage. I’ll also never confess my weakness to a soul. With each rose, he’s put a chink in my armor. If Jake intends to continue hurting me, he’s doing a bang-up job of it.
Coral has become my least favorite color, and it’s everywhere from my signs to the window clings—that I’m loath to admit I ripped clean off. The behavior was juvenile. But I was tired of the reminder that Jake tried to destroy my business and then swooped in to save the day. Seriously, who does that?
My pulse beats as furiously as it did whenever we argued. I swear it is a good thing my blood pressure hasn’t kicked up a notch to what it was like waiting for Jake to kiss me to put his hands on my body. Except my cardiologist has mentioned if I don’t start controlling my stress level, and stop taking my anger out onhisdoorstep, that man will drive me into an early grave.
“You could ask Layla if she’d want a job.”
“Huh? Who?” Sloan knocks me out of my internal ranting. “Oh, yeah. I’ve also thought maybe my mom might like a position. Something part-time. That way, whatever extra hours I have to put in, we won’t miss out on…”
I miss him.
“Out on?”
“Sorry.’ I bat the air. “Brain cramp… on spending that time with one another.”
“It’s cute that your shop is your baby. I’ve always liked that about you. How proud you are of it.”
“Thank you. I’ve always liked that you like my shop. Your recommendations are a boon to my business, and that means a lot.”
“What else is a girl supposed to do when she’s got a platinum limit and nothing to do but spend?” Sloan twists Layla’s words.
We share a laugh, but Sloan seems sad.
I slip the new logo idea under the bottom of my pile of papers and stack my laptop over it so it’s out of sight, fidgeting in my seat. “You know, I just remembered I have something pressing that I need to take care of. I’m going to text Kimber. Let’s do this another day.”
“Paisley, stop.” Sloan puts her hand over mine. “You’re not the first friend who has tried to make me feel better about the fact that I don’t have children of my own.”
“I’m not—”
“Don’t worry about it, okay? It’s my choice. It’s deliberate and, even when it’s painful, I have my reasons.”
“That’s understandable.” I give Sloan the respect she deserves.
“Maybe I’ll work in your new store… with Layla, and your mom.” She adds with grace.
“New store? What did I miss?” Kimber’s purse lands on the table and she slides into the chair next to her best friend.