Page 66 of Seductive Sadist
My heart hammers, the pain in her expression making my stomach roil.
“You railed on my father for completely disregarding me, for handing me over on a silver platter. But you don’t care about how he hurt me. You only care that he was wrong for doing it, just like your father was. You hate him for betraying his family just like you hate your father for betraying you all.”
Her voice shakes with anger, rising with every strained word. “I hate you all for treating me like a useless, helpless damsel who’s been manipulated and coerced. I guess that’s my fault, though. I didn’t fight hard enough. I didn’t protest enough. I didn’t care about myself enough. Or at all, really.”
“I have to do something, too.” She takes the gun I left on the table near the door and holds it out in front of me, her arms stiff, eyes steely and cold. “Fuck my father. Fuck your father. And fuckyou. I have to take care ofme.”
I stare down the barrel of the gun. “You don’t have a chance out there without me.”
She shakes her head, tears spilling out of her eyes. “I don’t have a chance in here with you, either. So I chooseout.”
Chapter28
Skyla
My eyes drop quickly down to the gun in my hand. I’ve never actually shot one before, so I’m not a hundred percent sure what the fuck I was thinking when I picked it up in the first place.
Maybe it was the sting of rejection that followed my confession of love. Or maybe it was out of desperation for a future on my terms.
Scattered thoughts pelt my brain. I could disappear, somehow. Run away, forget my dreams of becoming a surgeon. It would suck to walk away from everything that I’ve ever known and loved, but I’d be alive and in control.
All I’d have to do is pull the trigger. One shot could get me at least some of the freedom I crave.
I clutch the gun tight. A cramp creeps into my arm and it shakes the smallest bit.
“You really want to do this?” Zak’s eyes bore into me, lancing my soul. “You want to kill me?”
“You deserve it.” I swallow hard past the giant lump in my throat.
He raises his hands over head and takes a few steps toward me. “I don’t believe you want me dead.”
I roll my eyes, a sarcastic laugh slipping from my lips. “Maybe I need to do something to convince you that I’m telling the truth.”
“You just said you still love me.”
“There’s a fine line between love and hate.” I lift an eyebrow. “And right now, I’m straddling it.”
“I’d rather you be straddling something else.” He inches forward again.
Sliding my finger over the trigger, I grit my teeth. “My life as I know it is over. Either way, I’m someone’s pawn. Forced to play a role. Forced to give up my dreams. Forced to carry the crimes of my father on my shoulders.” Tears sting my eyes. “Forced to live a life where I won’t be loved, only used and manipulated.”
“You think running away is gonna change any of that?”
“If I disappear, the noose around my neck disappears. I don’t have to suffer because of my father’s fuckups, and whatever the hell he did to get on your radar.”
The lump in my throat balloons up to what feels like grapefruit-sized, and my words get caught.
“I hate your father for doing this to you.”
He’s so close now that his scent tingles my nostrils.
“Don’t.” I back away, the rubber soles of my slippers squeaking on the shiny tile floor.
I can’t let him in any further than he already is. Otherwise, I won’t be able to leave.
Guilt swarms my mind. If I go, it’ll destroy my mother. But then again, maybe she shouldn’t have buried her head in the sand for so long. She’s just as much to blame as my father is because she let it happen.
And Kyl… even though our relationship changed for some reason when he had his falling out with Zak, I never got the chance to make things right. If I go now, I never will.