Page 71 of Seductive Sadist

Why the fuck can’t someone chooseme, for once?

I grip the handle harder.

And why am I leaving it up to everyone else? When the hell amIgoing to choose me?

Chairs move, voices get animated, footsteps toward the door of Luka’s office get louder.

I push open the bathroom door and close it behind me. I flip on the light, plunged into a blinding sea of bright-white décor. Gripping both sides of the shiny pedestal sink, I lean toward the mirror and stare at my reflection.

Where the hell is the spark? The confidence and drive? The desire for independence and success? All the things that I was only months ago, before I was torn from my life. Now I look as worn and broken down as my father.

Helpless. Hopeless. Alone.

Because no matter what words Zak croons into my ear while he’s holding my body captive, he will never convince me that any of it is real. Lies and secrets are all he knows, and he’ll betray anyone to get what he wants. He wanted football and it was taken away from him. For the first time in his life, things didn’t work out. And he’s been scrambling ever since, hating his life, detesting his work, and feeling lesser than when he knows he could have been so much more than a low-life thug.

I slam my fists onto the edges of the sink.

And by staying with him, I’m allowing myself to be the victim.

There has to be a way out. I just need to find it.

But I have to come up with a plan first. If I do this, if I run, I have to be prepared to leave everything behind… including my heart, as mangled as it may be.

I turn on the faucet and splash some cold water on my flushed face. The threats against me… against my family… are real and deadly. I can’t for the life of me figure out what my father is so desperate to hide that he’d put us all in the line of fire like this. And there’s no guarantee that Tyson will be satisfied with taking me as his wife. He will bleed my father dry, and Christ only knows what he’d do to me next. He’s already proven himself to be a crazed, jealous lunatic.

Am I going to live a life of mental and physical anguish because my father wasn’t smart enough to figure out who he was partnering with?

Fuck, no.

Dad gave me up. And even though nobody’s kidnapped Kyl or Mom, he gave them up, too. All because of his greed and ignorance.

A life on the run is better than one chained to a sadistic monster who gets off on controlling me.

Jesus, if I run… no,whenI run, it’ll be from one version of that monster to another.

A few more deep breaths do little to simmer my blood, but I can’t camp out in here forever. I twist the handle and push open the door, the scent of chocolate filling my nostrils. My stomach grumbles and my thoughts trip back to the pancakes burning a hole in that white plastic bag I left on the kitchen table.

But the second I think about food, my gut churns, even though the smell of freshly baked goods makes my knees quiver.

“Hey, are you okay?” Natasha, Luka’s very pregnant wife, asks. Her face pinches with concern. “You’re super pale right now. Sit down and drink this.”

I take the glass of water she shoves into my hand and take a long gulp. “Thanks,” I rasp. “I’m just worn out. Not knowing when the other shoe will drop.”

She nods and places a tray of brownies on the table before sitting down next to me. “I understand exactly how you feel. Getting tangled up in this family is never a pleasant experience up front, trust me on that. But I’ve never met a family with the kind of loyalty that these guys have for one another. They’d go to the ends of the Earth to protect their own.”

My heart sinks into my slippers. That’s exactly the problem. His loyalty to his family is unquestionable. But to the woman he supposedly loves? It’s completely absent.

“How did you get ‘tangled up’ with them?” I feel like I have to make conversation since she’s been really nice to me and I’ve been a complete bitch since I walked into her home.

She hands me a plate with some brownies on it and I take it. The scent is pure decadence, and I can’t help myself from taking a bite. It’s gooey and warm and so incredibly rich, for a second, I lose myself in the deliciousness.

It’s a beautiful second.

And then I swallow and the bliss dissipates like a fart in the wind.

Back to reality.

Back to hell.