Page 18 of Wed to the Devil
Then he throws down the tray with a clatter, turning and stalking out of the kitchen. I’m left with his words bouncing around in my head. Trust no one. Life will be less disappointing.
I don’t know if I should feel sorry for him or if his words are more accurate than I could possibly know.
ChapterSix
DARE
After another fitful night of sleep, I steer my yacht another hundred miles north up the coast. By the time I anchor in a sheltered bay, I’m as broody as a teenage boy. Things between Talia and I have been frosty since last night, to say the least. But I left the little town of Harwicke with such haste that returning without getting on the same page will be extremely difficult.
After dropping the anchor and making sure that the boat won’t go anywhere, I head down to find Talia. To my surprise, I spot her on the back of the boat, leaning against the railing and staring off into the distance. She has borrowed one of my oversized coats and she looks tiny in it, her copper mass of hair looking brilliant amongst the bleak colors of the black sea and the white rocky shore beyond.
She turns around and spots me looking at her. Her cheeks flame bright pink and she turns away again. Something inside of me tightens, excited that she noticed me. I don’t fully understand that feeling but I head to the back of the boat, leaning against the railing beside her. Talia pushes her hair out of her face and looks at me, her eyes stunningly blue.
“Have you come to yell at me more?” She asks coolly.
I rub my jaw and then shove my hand through my short, dark hair. “That’s not my intention.”
She rolls her eyes and turns back to the ocean, leaning over the railing. “No? Then what is? What do you want from me?”
“You already asked me that question. And I’ve answered it. I want exactly what you promised me when you let me slide that ring onto your finger.”
She lifts her left hand and looks at her ring dispassionately. It’s huge and glittering, gorgeous by any standards. But I have the feeling that she is currently thinking about pulling the ring off and chucking it into the ocean.
I feel like I’m at a loss for words. I don’t want to comfort her, exactly. But I do wish that I could find something to say that would appease her. Make her more malleable and less resistant to the changes in her lifestyle that I have forced on her.
It’s frustrating because we only seem to communicate well through fucking each other’s brains out. When I’m not balls deep inside her, the odds of her wanting to scratch my eyes out are pretty good.
“You wanted to talk about those text messages,” I say. I’m a little surprised that the words escaped my mouth but the way that she looks at me, her head turning suddenly and her eyes filling with question marks… I like the way that she regards me.
Talia turns, her mouth twisting. She leans away from the railing, using her hand to hold herself up. “I’m listening,” she says, finally.
I purse my lips and choose my words carefully. “I only did what I had to do to convince you that marrying me was your only alternative. I could tell that you had too many options. So I just peered down the field. Maybe the guys I hired went a little farther when they busted up your aunt’s bookstore. But I wouldn’t take it back. It got me the results I was looking for. It made you accept my proposal.”
Her face tightens as I speak. Her lips thin.
“I feel like you deceived me. I feel like I was led down the garden path. I would have liked to have made that decision of whether or not to accept your proposal on its own merits. But you didn’t have any faith in me or in the value of your plans. Even now, you can’t say that you’re sorry.”
I glance away over my shoulder out toward the sea. I squint at the bright light and exhale a long breath.
“I could’ve made a different choice. I did what I felt I had to do. I can’t apologize for something I am not sorry for.”
With an exasperated noise she pushes away from the railing, starting toward the front of the boat. But I reach out a hand and grab her wrist, pulling her to a stop. She looks back at me and there is hurt echoing in her eyes.
Seeing that written all over her face makes me want to wipe it all away. For some reason, when Talia is vulnerable and I know that she is just letting me see it, something in my chest wrenches.
“Listen. I don’t know who sent you this text. It could have been my brother, my uncle, my dad. My life is full of people that could betray me at any moment. But I think it is important that we don’t let them get between us.”
She tugs at her arm, her expression disdainful. “They aren’t doing anything to us. It’s your actions that threaten to come between us. You are the one who lies and schemes and throws up walls. That’s not my doing. You have to see that for what it is.”
Ever so slowly, I draw her closer, her strength nothing compared to mine. When she is pressed against me, I flip our positions, putting her back against the railing and leaning down to rub my thumb along her jawline, her throat, her collar bone. She looks up at me wordlessly. I look deep into her eyes and bend to kiss her, the slightest brush of my lips over hers.
It’s a confession, as close to an apology as I ever get. When I am finished making my case, she looks at me with an unfathomable expression. “You’re mine now, Talia. Mine forever.” I bring my hand up to run it through her hair but she catches it, grabbing it down until it lays directly over her heart. She puts her hand over mine, searching my gaze intently.
When she whispers the next words, my heart beat speeds up. “I’m a person. A whole separate person. I know that you have become accustomed to a certain lifestyle where you look out for yourself first all the time. But I don’t want to live that way. I won’t. So I’m asking you to stop and consider what I might be thinking and feeling about you right now. Do you think it would be something that would make you proud?”
I open my mouth to answer and feel as though she has just slapped me. Talia’s face doesn’t change but she doesn’t look away either.
What she thinks about me, how she feels? The idea is foreign to me.