Page 84 of Wed to the Devil
My heart swells with joy and tears of happiness prick my eyes. Dare squeezes my hand tightly in support as we both look up at each other with wide-eyed gazes. Dare seems as out of sorts as I am and nearly as emotional to boot.
The doctor smiles and prints out several screen grabs before switching gears to nutrition.
"I'm going to recommend that you cut salt from your diet, Talia," she says. "Too much sodium can cause complications such as dehydration during labor or preterm delivery."
She goes on to explain cord blood banking services, in case we decide to do so for our baby. Then she wipes the jelly from my stomach and pulls my shirt back down.
"Thank you," Dare says. I'm a little surprised. He's been reserved with the doctor for months. Now he is suddenly showing gratitude, which in itself is unusual for him.
The doctor gives a curt smile. "Of course. I'm available at any time for questions you may have."
I dress quickly, feeling a little uncomfortable with Dare’s silence. He’s staring at the ultrasound photo of our daughter like he’s in a trance. I reach out to touch his arm and his head snaps up, meeting my gaze with a questioning look.
“Are you okay?” I ask softly.
He takes a deep breath and looks away, averting his eyes from mine. “I was just thinking… it feels real now, you know? This is someone else’s baby. I don’t know what that makes me… Am I responsible for this child now? Is it wise to claim her as my own even though she isn’t biologically mine? It won’t ever feel like she really belongs to me, will it?”
His voice is soft and painful and my heart aches for him. I take both of his hands in mine and squeeze gently. “It doesn’t matter whose baby she is biologically, Dare. She is ours now—yours and mine—and no matter what happens we will love her just as much as if she were our own flesh and blood."
"You think?"
I touch his hand. "I know it for a fact. There will be a lot of things in the future that we will need to shield our little girl from. But I feel that having you on my team will make that much easier."
He looks up at me sharply, his face full of surprise before softening into gratefulness. He squeezes my hand back before turning away to wipe some moisture from his eyes without me seeing. His chest expands in a deep inhale before he turns back towards me with a smile on his face, albeit slightly forced still.
Dare takes my hand in his and brings it to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss into the top of my knuckles. I watch his face closely as he does this, marveling at the transformation that has taken place over the past few days. It has been an incredible journey, with countless moments of learning about each other and ourselves that have led us here.
"Talia," he says softly. "I want you to know that your vulnerability unlocked something inside me—something I didn't know was there until now." He pauses for a moment and closes his eyes before continuing. "When you told me you needed me, something in me… stretched open. A part of myself I had kept hidden away for so long."
He looks down at our joined hands before meeting my gaze again and smiling sadly. "Having this photo makes everything so real now—it's like it reached deep into my chest and opened something up inside of me." His voice is low and filled with emotion.
We sit there, looking at each other in silence for a few moments as we try to process everything that had been said. Dare eventually moves closer to me and wraps his arms around my waist. I lay my head against his chest and he leans down to kiss the top of my head.
The kiss slowly deepens from tenderness to something more intimate. I feel myself melting into him. His lips brush softly against mine, coaxing my own open with gentle pressure. For a few minutes we get lost in each other, lost in the moment until Dare pulls away with an embarrassed laugh.
"I'm not sure that the doctor's office is the place for what I want to do with you right now," he murmurs, gently brushing a strand of hair out of my face while his eyes remain locked on mine.
Letting out a laugh, I roll my eyes. "We'll save it for later." I smile up at him before standing up and taking his hand in mine.
On the way to the car, a store's display window catches my eye. It's full of gorgeous baby furniture, cute baby clothes, and squeezable plush toys. I touch Dare's arm and point to the store.
"Can we go look around?"
He screws up his face and checks out the display.
"Yeah, I guess..." he says, but he doesn't sound the least bit convincing.
I take Dare's hand in mine, squeezing it gently as we make our way into the store. The store is decorated in shades of baby beige, ivory, and cream. There are plush toys, rocking chairs, carriages, and cribs, all lined up for the taking.
The store is full of items—blankets, clothes, toys, cribs and car seats. There are items that range from the simplest, the plainest, to the most extravagant and expensive. Dare fingers a price tag on one of the fancier strollers and then gives a low whistle.
"Damn." He turns the price tag so I can see it. It says fifteen hundred dollars. My eyes go wide with shock.
"What?" I exclaim. "Does it also vacuum and dust your house for you?"
Dare chuckles. We haven't been shopping for baby items yet, and it feels so surreal to be here. Time is moving too fast—it's like sifted sand slipping through my fingers. I'm worried I'm going to blink and miss something important.
The store is buzzing with activity, customers bustling around and sales associates helping them pick out just the right items. I take my time, running my hands over a few rocking chairs and picking up some of the soft baby blankets that are for sale. Dare trails behind me, seeming to enjoy looking at all the possible options but not yet committing to anything in particular.