Page 48 of King of Kings

Once I shut my bedroom door, I lean against it, taking a deep breath. I’ve never felt like this in my life. I’ve never been so attracted to someone that scares me like Knox does.

He has the power to destroy me, and I’m scared I don’t have the strength to keep him away.

My phone rings in my purse, pulling me from my thoughts.

“Hey, Bec,” I say, trying to sound as happy as I can.

I don’t want her to think anything is wrong.

“Hey, girl. What are you up to? Usually, we’ve had a facetime date or a text or something by now.” I chew on my bottom lip, debating whether or not I should tell her what happened with Knox and me.

Ultimately, I decide not to. There’s a part of me that wants to keep this to myself. It might be the part that doesn’t want anyone to say ‘I told you so’ when everything inevitably crashes.

“Not much, just been hanging out. Had a pretty chill day.”

“Have you heard from your landlord yet?”

“No. They’re supposed to be calling in the morning with an update.”

I don’t miss the sinking feeling in my stomach at the thought of having to leave.

“Well, I just wanted to check in. We’re about to have a Mommy and daughter movie night.”

“That sounds like a blast. Love you both,” I say before hanging up the phone.

I sit the phone on my dresser before grabbing some clothes for a shower. Maybe a hot shower is what I need right now.

Twenty minutes later, I feel refreshed. My shower felt amazing. I throw on a pair of spandex shorts and a tank top. I want to go check on Kinsley now.

The house is dark when I walk out into the hallway. I can see the light from Kinsely’s TV coming from under her bedroom door.

“Kins?” I say, knocking lightly on the door.

“Come in,” I hear her say from the other side.

I walk inside, finding her sitting at a desk in the corner of the room.

“Hey, girl,” she says, smiling.

“What are you up to?”

“Writing in my journal. It’s something my therapist recommended,” she says, closing the journal and putting it in a drawer.

“Did you come to check on me like my brother?” she asks, turning to face me.

“No. I just wanted to peek in and say hi before I go to bed,” I tell her.

“I wish everyone would trust that I’m okay.” She sighs, getting up from her desk, walking over to the bed.

“It will take them some time. They don’t want to lose you. They’re just worried about you,” I tell her.

“I know. If I could take it all back, I would. I never meant to hurt them. I was being selfish,” she says, her shoulders dropping in defeat.

I walk over to join her on the edge of the bed.

“You’re not selfish. Depression is something a lot of people don’t understand if they’ve never been there. It’s overwhelming.” I put my hand on her shoulder.

“I’ve been feeling so much better lately. I wish they believed me.”