Page 46 of Illicit Education

Aftercare was an intimate, private time between Dom and sub, but for the intent of this performance and any public scenes we performed during events at the club, it was imperative to demonstrate for guests what anintegralpart of the lifestyle it was.

Caring for my sub after a scene was not only important, but the health of a submissive depended on her master’s attention to detail.

And I was distracted.

With her head tucked up into the base of my throat and her arms wrapped around my waist, I ran my hand over Stella’s long hair and murmured words of praise into her ear. She’d taken a beating from me tonight, and though she’d done so willingly and everything had been discussed prior to the scene, her body was exhausted.

She’d be asleep in my arms soon.

Then I’d give one of the guards the signal and they’d clear the area, ushering Rabbit Hole clients and their guests to the next performance so I could fully tend to Stella.

But, for the first time in my life, I itched for this intimate moment to be over.

I’d scared Rylan.

That’s the only answer I could come up with as to why she ran from the scene.

She’d witnessed what I was doing to Stella andfearedme.

The thought made my stomach twist into uncomfortable knots. Though I loved a healthy dose of fear in the eyes of my subs, it had to be accompanied by unwavering trust—otherwise, I couldn’t stomach it. I’d made mistakes in my younger years, exploring the lifestyle with women who didn’t fully trust me, and it was not a mistake I’d made more than twice.

Seeing that fear in my new intern’s eyes sickened me.

Rylan and I had no trust between us.

She didn’t know me from Adam and now she’d seen a side of me she didn’t understand.

My jaw clenched at the thought that what she’d witnessed could have scared her away from me indefinitely. She’d obviously not been properly prepared for what she might see tonight. My arms tightened protectively.

Stella startled and tucked her head tighter against my throat.

“Sorry,” I murmured. “Rest.”

This was not Rylan in my arms.

This would neverbeRylan in my arms.

And I’d do well to remember that.

In fact, if what she’d seen tonight scared her away from the Rabbit Hole forever, I’d be safer because of it. The more distance between us, the better. She was a bomb waiting to detonate and blow my carefully curated life into millions of tiny shards.

Though Rylan Blake herself wasn’t dangerous, the way I felt about her was.

The way I wanted her could cost me everything.

Stella’s soft snoring registered in my brain, snapping me out of my thoughts. I met the guard’s eyes and gave him a curt nod, then he quickly began ushering everyone away from the scene. Foolishly, I scanned the crowd, a small part of me hopeful. Maybe she’d returned; maybe she hadn’t been scared away from me.

But Rylan wasn’t there.

And that was a good thing.

So I ignored the way my stomach sank at her absence and focused on the woman in my arms. Because that was real. Stella was real.

I carried Stella through a hidden door in the back of the performance room and strode to my private suite, where I would allow her the time she needed to recover from our performance.

This week, I’d find a way to encourage Stella to find a new Dom. I had a few in mind, the kind of men I both respected and admired. Men I would trust to care for her as I have.

Chapter Eighteen