Page 68 of Stolen to Forever
I kiss her back and don’t answer her because I don’t know if everything is all right.
CHAPTERTEN
LULA
“I’ll learn to make more things,” Xander says as I take my last bite of pancake and lick the syrup off my lips.
“I think I can live off your pancakes and you for the rest of my life.”
His hands free my messy bun and curls go everywhere as he kisses me.The change in him has been a one-eighty.Almost.I’m happy about that, but I still love the bossy side of Xander.He gets grumpy when he doesn't get his way with me, but it’s kind of adorable.
I pull back and lick the seam of his mouth.“What are we going to do for the rest of the day?”
My eyes close as I put my mouth back on his before he can answer me.I had no idea just kissing could be so intimate and it could make me feel so much.
“We can do whatever you want to do, love.”My breath hitches at the wordlove.
Earlier when I checked on Collins she was more than fine.I enjoyed getting to gossip with her, but more than anything the more time I spent with her, the more I realized I want what she has.Xander and his brothers are so different, but at their core they’re the same.I have no doubt Xander would cherish the woman he fell in love with, but what if he found out the woman he loves isn't the woman he thought she was?
“What if I want to go back to bed?”
Before I can finish what I’m saying, he has me out of my seat and he’s climbing the stairs to my room.He tosses me onto the bed before going back and locking the door—I’m sure so no one can walk in on us again.It reminds me of how Kade pulled him aside to have a little chat when I was checking on Collins.
“You’re back in bed.”Xander smirks as he prowls towards me.“Are you sure you’re not too sore?”He licks his lips.“We could always do other things.”
My whole body heats as I sit up, wanting him to do all of those other things.But like always, my mind rules the decisions.
“I feel fine.”I should probably be sore, but I’m not.The pleasure Xander gave me far outweighs the small amount of pain.I look down at my hands that I’m wringing together and my eyes linger on my bare left ring finger.It’s stupid to think of Xander putting a ring there.Not only is it too soon, but he has no idea who I really am and it would change everything.
He reaches out and tilts my chin up so I look him in the eyes.“What’s wrong, love?”There he goes again with that word.My heart aches every time he says it and my eyes sting as I fight tears.I won’t let them spill because then he’ll know I’m hiding something from him.
“What did Kade want?”I blurt out, pretending that was totally what I was going to say.
Xander’s hand drops from my chin and I wonder if I’ve gone too far.Whatever was said between the two of them was family business, and to the Warsaw men family always comes first.I’m not family but I think I might fall under the girlfriend category.
“He wants to make sure I wasn’t fucking around with you.”
“Is that what we did?”I tilt my head to the side as I think about what the two of us shared.“Were we justfucking around?”
I tilt my head up higher, not sure what I want him to say.I want him more than anything, including the affection and care he’s given me.It’s been so long since someone truly cared for me and that’s what he’s been doing.I get this softer side to Xander and I want it all to myself, even if I don’t deserve it.
“Lula, I’m sure there will be times when I fuck you and take you hard and fast.When we don’t have much time, like before our kids come barging into the room, or before we have to be somewhere.I know there will be times when I need you so badly I can’t wait.”
My intake of breath is sharp, but he keeps going.
“But what we did last night was far from fucking.I was claiming you and worshiping your body.I showed you I was an asshole when you first got here, but I’m going to make it right.Last night was the first step in who I can be for you, if you let me.”
It’s so hard to fight back the tears now.“I don’t know what to say to that.”I swallow the lump that’s lodged in my throat.
“Say you love me like I love you.”I close my eyes as tears begin escaping.
He loves me.I shake my head no because this can’t be happening.I want this so badly, but I can’t say those words back to him without him knowing the truth.
When I open my eyes again Xander is looking at the floor.I’ve never seen him so defeated before.He’s always ready to take anyone on.
I love him more than anything in this whole world and he’s made me feel alive again.He’s made me feel like I haven't been robbed of a future and that maybe because of my asshole father I’ve found my destiny.
None of that matters because Xander will hate me if he knows the truth.How could he believe that this was all a coincidence?He thinks he loves me, but he doesn't know all of me.I’ve worked hard to hide the dark parts and uplifted my whole life to keep on hiding from the rest of the world.