Page 36 of Legally Yours

“Funny. I’m being serious here, or I’m trying to.”

“Okay, spill it. What do you mean he’s doing everything right? If a guy does everything right, I see no problem. Of course, I’ve never met a guy like that for myself, but you know what I mean.”

“I mean, well, Leslie, you must have noticed his affection for me.”

“You’d have to be blind not to notice, Cass.”

“Well, I’m not trying to be ungrateful. But I can’t seem to reciprocate. I appreciate all of his loving gestures, but I can’t seem to act on them myself. I’m tongue tied when I’m around him, and I second guess every move he makes. What’s wrong with me?”

“I’m no expert, but I’d say a good dose of PTSD from being with David. Who wouldn’t second guess a man’s affections after what he put you through?”

I sigh. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Listen, girl, if you feel the same way as Liam, then you need to accept what he’s offering. You can’t measure every man by David’s low standards. Thankfully, men like that are still the exception to the rule.”

“So, you think I should drop my doubts and jump?”

“Heck, yes! The only person who is delaying the Happily Ever After part is you, Cass. Don’t ruin your marriage to Liam living in the past.”

Leslie bumps my shoulder and gives me a wink. I laugh. I feel like a silly schoolgirl for having such unfounded fear.

We sit for a while and listen to the waterfall gushing and splashing, the luxurious sound filling the void. I breathe in and breathe out and wash away my doubts and fears. I know in my mind Liam has been nothing but a complete gentleman and a wonderful husband, even if it only counts on paper.

The six months flew by. The ups, the downs, and the incredible lovemaking, too. It’s been a dream. Liam wants it to be real. I want it to be real.

I drink the last of my coffee, and we head back downstairs. Leslie has been such a good friend to me lately. Far better a friend than Emma, who in the end wasn’t a friend at all. Merely a ‘frenemy’ with a hidden agenda which revolves around what she can get from people.

As we stand in the elevator and watch the floors fall, I look over at Leslie and admire her more and more. She is a true friend. Liam is a true lover. From now on, I need to recognize and cherish truth when I see it. Grasp it with both hands and never let go.

The doors open, and Leslie and I part. I head back into my office, sit down in my chair, and look down at my workload. It won’t take. The figures and information won’t hold in my head. It’s Liam, all the time. I give up again, twirl my seat to face the plate-glass windows, and I gaze out at the world.

Rocking back and forth in my chair as if the movement will somehow order my thoughts, I remember back to my first meeting with Liam’s mother. By her words and actions, she made it abundantly clear I didn’t pass the test when it came to her precious boy. My thoughts become circular, and fear rears its ugly head.

When it comes down to it, Cass, you’re just too scared about everything to do with Liam.Maybe David has scarred me for life with all men. This fake marriage has been such a whirlwind, and the blossoming romance between us has been a whirlwind, too. It all seems so reckless, and it’s moving too fast.

I need my world to slow down. Please slow down.

31

CASSANDRA

Today is the last day of our six month marriage agreement, and the sadness is eating me whole. I love Liam. But I need to love myself more.

So, I’m going to live without him. I can never have a life that’s completely happy because his mother refuses to accept me. She still insists that she wants him to marry Eunice, even though she cheated on him.

Not to mention, I still can’t trust men. Any man. I’m afraid to trust even Liam because he might cheat on me, too. I don’t want to lose my self-respect. I did this when I was with David. That’s why I refuse to let any man do that to me, ever again.

I’m at Liam’s home. For this last night that I will be with him, I am making a special dinner for the two of us – grilled salmon, baked potatoes, salad and green beans. For dessert, I have a beautiful fruit tart. I went out this morning to buy it.

Liam gets home at about six. He’s happy, giving me a long kiss on my lips. I kiss him back because I love him. I wish I could just stop loving him.

“Wow, everything smells delicious! What are you making?”

I smile. “Grilled salmon, baked potatoes, green beans and a beautiful dessert. I think you’ll like it.”

I turn to look into his beautiful green eyes. My heart cracks in one spot. I turn back to the food before he sees me trying not to cry.

Liam wraps his arms around me and pulls me against his body.Just for a few minutes. Build up all the memories you can!