Page 51 of Legally Yours

What will life be like for my baby? He or she will only have me. Liam would have made a great father, but now he is married to someone else. He will have a family with her and not me.

Will I be able to raise a baby alone? I can barely take care of myself, how will I take care of another human being? How will I make any money while I am pregnant? I am already not fitting into my clothes.

I know that I will love this child so much but will my love be enough? I never thought that I would have to raise a child on my own. When I dreamed about my life, I was always married and raising children with a loving husband.

My heart hurts because I miss Liam so much.

What am I going to do without him?

41

CASSANDRA

My parents really made my afternoon. They were so happy, I couldn’t help but be happy myself. The whole afternoon, my parents talked about the baby and how they were going to help me. I could tell they were being careful not to mention Liam anymore.

When I told them that I wasn’t going to tell Liam, they didn’t ask any questions. They just accepted it and continued to talk about how they were going to support me the best way possible.

“Move back in with us, Cassandra,” my mother says.

I am tickled that she said this because the last time we lived together, all we did was argue.

“I’ll think about it, Mom.”

“Don’t think, Cassandra. Do.”

When I finish my shift at the convenience store, I decide to walk home and get some fresh air. Well, as fresh as the air can be in any city. It is still muggy outside but that doesn’t bother me. My mind is totally on the baby. I feel like I am walking on sunshine.

Will the baby look like me or look like Liam? I can’t wait to find out. If it is a boy, I hope he has Liam’s handsome face. I try to imagine a little boy with blond hair and green eyes like Liam.

What if I have a girl? Will she look like me? Would it be better if she looks like Liam? I can’t decide. When I get out of my parent’s neighborhood, I begin to hear the city sounds of cars honking at each other and an ambulance in the background.

Maybe we should have opened a convenience store in my neighborhood because it is a lot busier than theirs. The foot traffic here must be awesome. Maybe after the baby comes, we can open another store here.

“Hey lady, watch where you’re going!” a man shouts at me.

I look up and notice that I am crossing a street. I didn’t realize that I had walked in front of traffic. I’m so happy about this baby, it is like I am in my own world.

“Thanks!” I shout back at the man.

I continue walking and dreaming of the baby. I think of Liam, and I am truly sorry that I will not be raising a baby with him, but I know in my heart that the baby and I will be okay. I am an independent woman. I might not be able to work in the high pressure fashion industry anymore after I become a mother, but we will make it, the baby and I.

“I know lots of people who grew up without a father, and they turned out just fine,” I tell the baby. I can’t wait to feel the baby inside of me. I will talk to him or her, and they will kick me back in response. I can’t wait until that happens.

Maybe I should have never left Liam, but it is too late now. My relationship with Liam has ended. Yet I will always have a little piece of him with this baby, and that thought makes me happy.

The city is bustling around me but to me there is only the baby and I. Maybe the noises of the city are too much for the baby. I feel my mom instincts kick in, and I start to sing to it.

It occurs to me that the song I am singing to the baby was one that Liam sang to me. At that moment, I feel like I am going back in time. It is a bittersweet memory, and I can’t decide how to feel.

Suddenly, I’m jerked out of my daydream because there’s this car coming down the street way too fast. He’s dodging cars back and forth, trying to get ahead of them. There’s this one car blocking the reckless car, not letting it get past. The noise from both cars is incredible. I can barely hear myself think.

I’m getting a real bad feeling watching these cars. They are getting closer and closer. I start to walk fast in the other direction so that I can get out of the way. The fast car starts honking at the car that is blocking him, but there is no reaction out of that car.

This makes the driver of the fast car really angry. He is shouting out of his window and not paying attention to anything else. I see him jump the curb and start driving towards me.

It’s one of those moments when you know your life is going to be changed forever, but now it isn’t just me. I have a baby inside of me. A baby that I’m meant to protect.

I turn away, trying desperately to avoid the car that is fast approaching me. I can feel the rumble of the car on the sidewalk where I am standing. I can smell the exhaust fumes.