Page 21 of Brutal Sinner
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They finally leaveand set off in the small black car like two actors in a Netflix documentary. As soon as the car disappears from view, I head toward the house, my heart beating so fast I may not make it.
As I edge open the door, I smile to myself. Foolish mistake, although I’m guessing he expects everyone to be waiting in his church. They wouldn’t dare not show up, which makes this easy for me.
They think I’ve gone. Left already because that is what Mr. Gaston has promised to leak around town. I make interesting gossip in the store, and I have a willing companion who would help spread the lie. I drove to the county line and then doubled back cross country to the mountain where Mr. Gaston has his bolthole. Mainly as a place to shoot and fish high above the plains of Heaven, but the perfect place for me to sharpen my resolve.
The house is in silence and as I tread the wooden staircase, the boards creak under the weight of my boot. My heart hammers and the sweat builds as I anticipate a meeting that is long overdue.
I listen for any signs of life and only the gentle sobs of an angel reveal my destination and my heart hardens as I make my way to the door at the end.
CHAPTER11
FAITH
It’s only when I’m sure they left, do I give in to my grief. I sit on the mattress and draw my knees to my chest and let emotion have its day. Five more days of hell to endure before what? Marriage to a bastard. The pain of not being with my child is tearing me apart, and even when that door is unlocked, I am not guaranteed to see her again. There arenoguarantees, and I am crying because I can’t figure a way of this fucking mess. The only thing I can think of is that one day I will take her and run. That is a given, but how long before I get the chance? Days, weeks, months, and God forbid years. I won’t stay here forever, but it stillfeelslike forever.
Suddenly, I’m aware of a noise at the door, a scraping on wood. Is it an animal, rats even? I wouldn’t be surprised and I still as I strain to listen. It’s a gentle scraping sound that tells me something is there, and I peer around me nervously because I have nowhere to hide. Surely, he didn’t return. Is it Miss. Hughes, but she has a key? It must be a stranger or an animal.
I stare with a mixture of horror and a weird fascination as the door handle turns and as the heavy door opens, I conclude I must be dreaming.
I blink in astonishment as the man I have tried so hard to forget stands in the doorway and I can’t help the tears that splash down my face as I stare at what must be a hallucination.
“Are you real?” I blink several times to test the theory, and his low rumble of laughter makes me stare at him in surprise.
I’m not sure what’s happening here because my eyes may not believe what’s in front of them, but my heart obviously does.
“Jonny.” My voice trembles and in two strides he is before me and pulling me into his insanely ripped arms. As they fold around me, I crumble. I can’t help it as I sob like crazy on the shoulder of the man I have never stopped loving and as those arms fold around me, they bring with them the greatest sense of relief I have ever experienced in my life.
He nuzzles his face in my hair and whispers, “Don’t cry, darlin’, it’s over.”
I pull back and stare hungrily at a face I have tried so damned hard to forget and note the glittering dark eyes and the rough edges that surround raw beauty and the gentle smile of a sinner. His short dark hair is slightly long on top and the scuff on his jaw creates a hard edge to the person I know as anything but. Not with me, never with me, which is why it was so hard to walk away.
Tentatively, I reach up to test if he’s real and, as my finger connects with his skin, his own hand lies against mine and he whispers, “What the fuck has he done to you?”
He gently traces the smarting skin that was so brutally beaten, and I whisper, “It’s not so bad.”
“I’ll fucking kill the bastard.” His ominous tone makes me smile because Jonny may be a sinner to most, but to me is everything. A gentle giant with the softest heart and the most caring lover. I feel safe with him. I always did.
“Why, Faith?”
I can tell he’s hurting, although desperately trying hard not to show it and my voice shakes as I whisper, “I had no choice.”
For a second, I witness the pain in his eyes, and it catches me deep in the heart and tears away another shred of my humanity because I put it there. He makes to speak, but I shake my head and with glistening tears in my eyes, I lean forward and press my lips to his with a deep sense of relief inside.
It’s like coming home.
The memories dance around me, clapping their hands with joy because this is my happy place. In Jonny’s arms, just the two of us. He pulls me in deeper and as his tongue edges inside, I feel the lit spark of chemistry we always had. It becomes the most important thing in life to savor this moment. Then again, it always was. He was an aching need inside me, a desire for something so perfect I would have done anything to take it. A hunger mixed with desperation for something so pure and my entire body trembles as we lose ourselves in perfection.
This kiss is not sexual, it’s a homecoming and reminds me too well of what I walked away from. But it’s not only me anymore and I can’t be selfish, so I pull back and with glistening tears in my eyes, whisper, “There’s something you should know.”
I swear the tension increases in the room as he says gently, “You can tell me when we reach the cabin.”
“The cabin?” I’m confused, and he strokes my face with a light touch and whispers, “There is no fucking way I’m leaving you here. There’s a cabin in the wood we can hide out in tonight and then tomorrow I’m taking you away from this hellish place forever.”
My eyes fill as the panic grips me and I shake my head and say quickly, “No!”
It’s as if I’ve stabbed him several times over as the pain flares in his eyes and the rejection drives a wedge between us. He steps back a little and says in a hurt voice, “Why?”