Page 28 of Dearest Protector

I was too concerned that Ian could apparently recognize exactly how I felt about Ariel.

Fuck!My brother was on to me. He knew just how much I wanted Ariel, and it wasn’t going to be easy to convince him otherwise.

And really, did I want to attempt to convince him that Ariel meant nothing to me?

Ian and I were getting tight again, and we hadn’t been this close for years. I didn’twantto lie to him.

We were running Blackwoodtogethernow. He spent time in the robotics lab in the mornings, but he was here physically in the executive offices, the way it always should have been from the beginning, the way my dad had wanted.

I didn’t want to fuck that up now that I had my older brother back again.

I scrutinized his expression, barely noticing the lingering scars on his face from the accident that had killed my father and had left Ian broken.

Truth was, Ian was damn happy these days because of Katie, and that mademeecstatic.

I answered noncommittally, “I’m not going to say that I’m not attracted to her, but all she needs is a friend right now, Ian. I’m going to be that friend. I’m going to help her get her life back together. What happened to her was not her fault. She lost everything when she was hit by that taxi in New York.”

Ian snorted. “Yeah. And how is that friendship thing working out for you? Been there and tried something like that myself, little brother. It’s pure hell to want a woman you can’t have.”

I dropped my empty salad container back into the bag and opened my sandwich wrap. “Not…so great,” I confessed. “But for now, I have to suck it up. She’s been through hell, andherneeds come first.”

Being Ariel’s friend wasn’t exactly a hardship, even if I did want more. When it came to relationships, she gave far more than she was willing to take, and havinganyonelike that in my life other than family was…unusual.

She sawme, not my money or power. When we were operating in the friend mode, she saw me as just a normal guy.

Ian frowned. “Seems to me you’ve already done way too much of that ‘sucking things up’ for most of your adult life, and that’s my goddamn fault. I wished to hell that I could make that up to you. I haven’t been there for you for a long time as an older brother. But I’m here now, Ben. You can talk to me. I’m back, and I’m not going to abandon you to run the headquarters by yourself again. If I would have pulled my head out of my ass earlier, I would have realized how hard it was on you to be the only one here. Hell, do you honestly think I don’t realize that every single day now?”

We’d had this discussion before, and the last thing I wanted from Ian was another apology. “Don’t, Ian,” I said gruffly. “I don’t know now and will never know what you went through. I wasn’t in that car with you and Dad.”

Ian had always blamed himself for not being able to save our father, despite the fact that he’d been gravely injured himself.

“But you picked up all of the pieces. You ran your ass off to accomplish my obsessions about Blackwood,” Ian acknowledged. “Don’t ever think that I don’t know the hell you’ve been through, too. You look like shit, even if you are one of the most sought-after bachelors in the world. I know you, Ben. Those years of running Blackwood alone physically and taking care of Mom’s emotional needs have gotten to you. I never stopped working in my lab at home long enough to realize how much I was putting on you. I demanded, and you carried things out on your own. And you were mourning Dad, too. Hell, I’m happy that Ariel is looking out for you. I’m just worried because I don’t want you to end up hurt. Thank fuck that she looks at you the same way you look at her.”

“I’ve never seen that look,” I admitted in a disgruntled tone as I reached for my water.

Ariel mothered the hell out of me despite the fact that I was six years older than her, but I’dneverseen the same need in her eyes that ate at my guts every single day.

Being close to her was both heaven and hell.

I wanted her close.

I wanted her near me.

I had a connection to her that I’d never experienced with another woman.

But hiding just how much I wanted her was getting damn near impossible for me.

Ian sent me a disgruntled expression. “Then you’re fucking blinded by your own feelings, brother,” he warned. “My only request is that you make sure you know what you want before you change this so-called friendship into something else entirely. Ariel is vulnerable. You’re right, she needs a confidante and someone to help her. What happened to her is completely fucked up, but she’s more like a sister than a friend to Kate. It would destroy her to see Ariel hurt again.”

I took a slug of water before I asked, “And if I end up being the one who’s hurt by this relationship?”

“That would gut me, too,” he answered. “You haven’t even had the time to look for the woman who will make you happy for the rest of your life. I’m pretty sure you’re serious about Ariel. I can’t exactly fault you on the fact that you haven’t known her for long, either. One look at Kate and I was obsessed. It didn’t matter that I was damaged. All I wanted was her, and I did whatever it took to make sure she was safe. Maybe the way I approached that with the whole stalker thing was wrong, but it was really my only option at the time.”

I smirked. Ian’s method of keeping track of Katie while she got her college education and afterward was wrong, but I definitely understood that compulsion.

“Then maybe you’ll understand why I feel the same protectiveness toward Ariel,” I replied. “Dad used to say that when you meet the right woman, you’ll know it almost immediately. He never really explained how, but I guess it’s really hard to explain until you experience it yourself.”

Ian nodded. “It is, and I know he was right. So that’s it? Ariel is the one?”