Page 44 of Waves of Time
“What’s up?” Aria asked.
“Sam wants to talk.”
Aria stuck her tongue into the inside of her cheek. “You should tell her about your surgery.”
Hilary remained quiet, remembering the last conversation she’d had with Sam. It had been at Sophie’s place when Sam and Sophie had cornered her to tell her about Aria’s involvement with Thaddeus. Unfortunately, after that conversation, Hilary had given her darkest fears power and run to Aria to accuse her of destroying her life. But not only was Aria a good kid, she wasn’t a liar. What she’d said about her fears surrounding drugs was understandable. And all Hilary could do was believe her.
HILARY: I don’t believe Aria is in any way involved in the drug scene. And I don’t want to talk about it anymore.
SAMANTHA: I don’t believe she is, either.
SAMANTHA: Please, let me come explain.
Hilary wrote back that they’d be home by nine-thirty and that if Sam wanted to swing by then, that was fine. Or, of course, if she could wait till tomorrow, that was probably easier for everyone. Sam wrote back that she would be there tonight. Apparently, this conversation couldn’t wait.
“I just want to sleep,” Hilary said as Aria drove the car onto the ferry ramp.
Aria winced, then parked tightly between a big white van and a sports car. She rubbed Hilary’s arm for a tender moment, then said, “Let’s go up and watch the island come closer.”
Hilary followed Aria slowly, as though she’d lost touch with her limbs, and then slumped alongside Aria on the railing, gazing out at the water. As the ferry slowly drifted from the dock and embarked toward their island home, Hilary was struck with a horrible realization that if the surgery went badly, this could be the last time she saw the island approaching her while on the ferry. It was a terrifying thought.
As the island grew larger on the horizon, Aria said, “I didn’t know Dad actually lived in Nantucket with you for a while.” She said it as though the idea of someone leaving Nantucket on purpose was beyond her comprehension, which was something Hilary understood to her core.
Hilary sighed, her mind flashing with images of those last few fights they’d had before he’d taken the job out west, how abandoned she’d felt as he’d packed his things, and how broken-hearted she’d been when she’d had to tell her family he’d officially gone – even after Roland had screamed at him to try to get him to change his mind. She’d been so embarrassed, which had only exacerbated her sorrow.
“He had expectations for his career,” Hilary said finally, unsure of how else to put it. “And he was pretty sure he couldn’t become anything trapped on this island. Maybe he was right.”
“You became something,” Aria pointed out.
Hilary nodded, wanting to insist that that was different, that she’d been lucky. But in truth, she’d worked really flipping hard to get where she’d gotten. Maybe she’d even worked twice as hard as Marc. Then again, it didn’t matter now, especially if her career went out the window.
What did blind people do for careers?Hilary had googled it last night but had immediately deleted the search, not sure she wanted to know. A life without color seemed pointless.
Back home, Aria parked the Chevy in the driveway and brought both suitcases inside. Hilary protested, saying, “You don’t have to carry both,” but Aria insisted, unsure where to put her worries around Hilary’s health.
As Hilary walked along the edge of the living room, gazing out at the backyard that needed a mowing desperately, Samantha sprung from the shadows of the back porch. Hilary yelped, her hand on her heart, then yanked open the back door and exclaimed, “What the heck are you doing here? You nearly killed me!”
Samantha’s smile was sorrowful and strange. “I’m sorry. I thought maybe you’d seen my car parked in the street?”
Hilary hadn’t because her eyes were filled with strange, flashing lights. She stepped onto the back porch, closed the door behind her, and crossed her arms.
“I really am sorry,” Sam said again, her tone was deep. It was the first apology from Sam that Hilary wanted to believe. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
Hilary waved her hand and sat on one of her porch chairs, pointing at the one opposite for Sam to sit. She did, crossing and uncrossing her legs nervously. A part of Hilary wondered if, somehow, some way, Sam had found out about her eyes. But that was impossible.
“Hilary, you know as well as anyone that it’s hard for me to admit when I’m wrong,” Samantha began.
Hilary wanted to nod and say, “yes!” exuberantly, but she assumed that wouldn’t help anything, so she kept quiet.
“Last time we saw each other, I was quick to say very judgmental things about Thaddeus,” Sam continued. “About his involvement in the drug scene and so on. But this past week, I learned more about him, about his past.” She paused to lick her lips. “It seems like he was briefly involved in the drug scene at the end of his high school career, at a particularly low point in his family’s life, when his mother had no job, and there was no money coming in. According to all of my sources, however, he got out of there as soon as he could. And these days, apparently, he attends Al-Anon meetings as a way to understand the addicts in his family in a more concrete and empathetic way. In almost every way, he seems like a very good guy.”
Hilary swallowed the lump that had grown in her throat and gazed through the back window of her home, where she saw Aria sipping a glass of water and flicking through the channels on the television. Her heart swelled with love for her, a young woman with good taste and instincts who’d made mistakes but was happy to learn from them. That was a rare thing in a person.
“Anyway,” Sam continued when Hilary didn’t speak, “I really wanted to pass that along. I hope what I said didn’t mess anything up between you and Aria. I know what a special relationship the two of you have.”
Hilary considered telling Sam how monstrous she’d been last Saturday night, storming up to Aria outside Robby’s Crab Cabin and insinuating that Aria wasn’t honest with her.But what good would that do?She didn’t want to fight with Sam anymore. She wasn’t even sure why all the fighting had begun.
“Don’t worry about it,” Hilary breathed. “Aria is going to do what Aria wants to do. And she is a great judge of character. Much better than I am.”